Ah! The feeling of that you could not directly express but you feel. The one that you want everyone to know about but then again you don’t want them to. The feeling is not being able to hold it in any longer. You just want to spur it out to her. Here is some food for thoughts when you are approaching the “one”.
- Understand Her
Is she really your type or is this infatuation? When you are planning to ask a girl out to be your girlfriend you are committing yourself to her. You would have to give your trust as well as acquire her(s). So before approaching her, you get to know her first.
- Make light-hearted conversations with her. Don’t directly go for it.
- Try and make sure you interact with her in group scenarios and also try to make face to face conversations when she is alone.
- Share your interests and see if you could find a common ground.
- Start Out with a Plan
No, marriage has not been taken into consideration but you should at least plan out things with her for the next few years. If you really want to make this work you should have an end goal in mind. Know what she would mean to you after you approach.
- Be prepared mentally for any given scenario that she rejects you.
- Think about this with an open mind. Do not pressure yourself with the decision.
- Think about your first date maybe? Be prepared for the case where she agrees. Make yourself look very organized.
- Try to visualize situations so that when the situation arises at any given instance you could just go with the flow.
- Timing is the Key
Timing is really important. A person may vary their response based on what they are feeling at a particular instance of time. So, make sure that when you are approaching her, you have approached her at the right instance of the time frame.
- Make sure she looks competent and happy when you are approaching.
- Try and make conversation at the instance when she is in a group and as well as when she is alone.
- Do not show that you are investing a lot of time in her. Just make sure she realizes that you are investing some time for her. A little too much will make you look desperate.
- Approach for light-hearted conversations when you feel it is the right moody setting.
Previous points emphasize on how important building light conversations are. This is a way that you could get to know her better. Girls like discussing about things that they like. If you could find a common ground you could indulge yourself with hearty conversations.
- Listen to what she has to say and respond with proper body gestures.
- Pitch in your views as well. Make sure that even you look interested. Do not let her be the only one carrying the conversation forward.
- If you are not familiar with the topic do not pretend that you do. It would make things awkward in the longer run.
- Smile occasionally and try to make eye contact as much as possible.
- Show Boldness
This does not mean acting like a creep and asking her out just after your first conversation. The more time you give to her and the more boldness you show, the higher are the chances of acceptance.
- Make decisions when you are in a group with her.
- If she does something that is inappropriate let her know positively about this. Girls love guys who have a firm mindset.
- Walk up to her when she is hanging out with her friends. This will send a positive message to her friends as well.
- Express Connection
This incorporates with boldness. Make sure you make her realize this. Make her feel like there is something more than “just friends” between you two. Expressing it directly would mess things up. You need to learn to be casual about this.
- Talk about this when a casual conversation is going on.
- Make sure to bring this fact every time you guys share something close or maybe just a laugh.
- Tell her occasionally how wonderful it is to have her company.
- Never be direct about this. It will only catch her off guard and she will respond negatively to it.
- Be Direct about Few Things
Be direct to her about a few things at the beginning itself. Make her realize that you approached her not just for being friends. This is where most of the guys fail at and thus zone them rather than getting into a relationship.
- Make sure you make your intentions look clear while approaching her. Be positive about it.
- Do not play to be friends if you want to be something more than that with her.
- If you are planning to go direct, play it cool and share this to her letting her know about how you feel about her once you get to know each other more.
- Stay Put
Most of the guys tend to drag things a lot. You should avoid this. If she is not responding to your messages then you should move on rather than holding on to her. Understand that she is not willing to spare her time for you.
- Do not keep sending emails/presents even after her zero response rate.
- Make sure that you surprise her but not often. This will make you seem desperate rather than a secret admirer.
- Keep a time frame for yourself. If she does not respond to it within the time limit, move on.
- The Approach
This step is what you have been preparing yourself for. This is the “do or die” stage. You have to collect all the courage you have and stay calm and approach her. While approaching her, these are the things that you should keep in mind.
- Try to dress to the occasion. If she has mentioned her favorite color, try wearing something of that color if viable.
- Give her certain hints that you are going to approach her. Do not be direct. Work with the flow.
- Be collected, calm and chill. Try to hide your nervousness.
- React to the result positively whether it goes with or against you.
- Try to be true to who you are as much as possible. This shows your composure.
- The Indirect Approach
You could take the direct approach route or you could give yourself some space and try and go for the indirect approach. Though the direct approach is the most preferred one and the most likely to work one if you are not confident enough then go for the indirect approach.
- Write her letters confessing how much you mean to her.
- Gift her with things that she likes with a note talking about how much you mean to her.
- Keep the gifts and the messages casual. Do not overdo the messages and restrict the gifts that you are planning to give her.
- Understand her nature before you present her with gifts.
- The Confession
This is the part that you would come across even you take the direct or the indirect approach. When you are approaching her you need to make sure that whatever you confess will make her feel something for you.
- Do not keep the confession vague.
- Try and express everything in a short and sweet manner.
- Mention a few things that make her stand out for you instead of any other girl.
- Compliment her during the confession.
- Try not to be too cheesy and stick to the main point.
- A Memorable Day
You must try and make sure that this day was memorable for both of you. When you are confessing someone you do not know the end result, but what you could do is light up the settings a bit. If the outcome is positive and the setting is perfect, what a day it would be.
- Give her a heads up about the day.
- Plan to set it in a way that she loves based on what she has mentioned to you or you have come to find out.
- Dress accordingly and try not to put cologne as if you are taking a bath. It becomes more repulsive than attracting.
This is it! This is the final response that she would give. Whatever her response is, you need to make sure that you handle it in a smooth manner. Have a clear mindset that you are willing to accept the result even though she loves you back or does not.
- Do not act frantic while she is responding.
- Try to act cool to whatever she responses with.
- Try and surprise her with a small gift as a gesture of this new love if she accepts.
- Make sure you do not make her feel guilty for her decision. Smile and accept it gracefully.
- Never play desperate in front of her. If she is playing hard to get you also respond with the same attitude. Make her feel like you are bold and mature for the relationship.
- Do not blame others for rejection. It would be her personal choice and as a person, you should be able to accept it. Understand not everything works in your way.
Learn to plan ahead as well. If she accepts then make sure you have everything sorted in your head for at least a month or a two. You do not want to look clueless after you get into a relationship.