Choosing a good parent can be a strenuous task since you have to through filter through all the people you know for the best possible person. When you finally find the right person, it can be even harder to pose the question to them.
- Plan it Meticulously
Breaking the news to someone that you want them to be a good parent is a huge deal. Make sure you plan how you intend to do it well in advance.
- Make sure you write down what you intend to say.
- Choose an appropriate setting for the revealing.
- Make sure you are excited about it as well.
- Choose a memorable location to reveal the big news.
- Check the Temperament
Before revealing to the person that you intend them to be a godparent for your child, make sure that you check that person’s temperament.
- Make sure that the person is receptive to the idea.
- Make sure that the person is excited about it too.
- Ensure that the person is fit to be a godparent and not just someone you feel can do it.
- Choose the Right Time
When you are finally posing the question, make sure that the person you are asking is receptive to the idea.
- Don’t ask them if they are busy.
- Don’t ask them if they are preoccupied with work.
- Don’t ask them if their mind is somewhere else.
- Don’t ask them if they are distracted.
- Don’t ask them if they are feeling low or unhappy.
- Plan a Reveal Party
Since its big news and probably the only time that they will ever get to hear it, you can plan a reveal party for them.
- Plan a small reveal party for them.
- Make sure you test the waters by bringing up the topic of being a good parent easier during a conversation.
- Plan a personal party.
- Choose the right location; don’t ask them this question at a bar or a club.
- You can theme the party according to the gender of your child.
- Show Them that it’s an Honor
By telling someone that you want them to be a good parent, you are bestowing an honor upon them. Make sure you show this while saying it.
- Don’t just say it casually.
- Avoid using humor in the conversation.
- Make sure the setting and the tone of your voice are correct.
- Portray the gravity of the situation while telling them.
- Make Sure You Elaborate What is Expected of Them
This is a critical part of asking someone to be a good parent. You need to highlight what is expected of them.
- Make sure they understand what being a good parent entails.
- Highlight their responsibilities and roles.
- Tell them what they need to do in every eventuality.
- Ensure that they are aware of the fact that they will be a role model for the child.
- Make sure they grasp how important this role is.
- Developing a Lasting Relationship with Your Child
A good parent must have a lasting relationship with your child so that they are comfortable together. Keep this in mind while asking someone to be your child’s good parent.
- Make sure that person has a good relationship with your child.
- That person should put in an effort into interacting with your child.
- The dynamics between your child the good parent is of prime importance.
- The long-term togetherness between your child and the good parent should not be doubt.
- Check What They will Offer
Make sure that a good parent is not given the honor just because he or she is your friend or family. Ensure they bring the desired qualities on the table.
- Ensure that the prospective good parent is putting in an effort towards getting to know your child.
- Make sure that the prospective good parent is capable of taking care of your child.
- Make sure the prospective good parent doesn’t have any bad habits.
- The prospective good parent should be a good influence.
- Role Model
A good parent needs to be a good role model for your child. He or she needs to have values which the child can imbibe.
- Make sure your child finds a good role model in the good parent.
- Ensure that your child has sufficient support from the good parent.
- Ensure that your child sees good qualities in the good parent.
- Being There
Make sure that the good parent as around the child so that they can form a bond. A good parent should not be just on paper.
- Make sure that the good parent is there for your child.
- A support structure between your child and a good parent is important.
- Teach your child to rely on and trust your good parent.
- Ensure that the godparent understands that the child his or her responsibility as well.
- Supporting the Child
Make sure that good parent understands that he or she is also responsible for supporting the child through hard times.
- Make the good parent a part of the raising process of your child.
- Supporting a child doesn’t just mean financial support.
- The child must be able to blindly rely on the good parent.
- In Case You’re Not Around
God forbid but there may be a day when you aren’t around to take care of your child. You need to prepare yourself, your child and the good parent for this eventuality.
- Sit down and hold an in-depth talk or discussion about this.
- Make sure that the good parent understands that in such a case he or she needs to raise your child.
- Make sure the good parent is ready for such a situation.
- Tell the good parent what he or she must do in such a situation.
- Don’t try to avoid this discussion.
- Discuss this in Advance
Being a good parent is a huge deal. Not everyone will be outright ready for such a huge responsibility. In such a case you should hold a discussion about this with the concerned individual.
- Sit down with the prospective good parent and ensure that they understand what they are signing up for you.
- Make sure they feel good about being a good parent.
- Introduce the prospective good parent to the roles of being a good parent.
- Express why you chose them to be a good parent.
- Set a Meeting
Selecting a good parent should be an objective decision rather than an emotional one. For this purpose, you can consider setting a meeting to talk to all the prospective good parents.
- Interact with all prospective good parents first.
- You can ask them questions which will help you make your decision.
- Ask them what they will do for your child.
- You can ask them to elaborate on how they feel about being a good parent.
- Ensure that you don’t give in to any pressure from people.
- Ask Them to Explain
You will have to make some hard decisions while selecting a good parent. Make sure you that you don’t let personal prejudices affect your decision.
- Give prospective good parents scenarios and ask them what they will do.
- Ask them tough questions.
- Ask them what qualities they possess that can help in nurturing your child.
- Ask them to explain their position.
- Ask them how they intend to contribute to the development of your child.
- Send Them a Gift from Your Child’s Behalf
To get your good parent officially into the family fold, you can send them a cute and personalized gift from your child’s side.
- Send them a thank you note from your child.
- Send them a welcome gift from your child.
- You can even reveal that they are the chosen good parent through a gift from your child.
- Plan a Surprise for Them
Being chosen as a good parent is a huge honor for the person chosen. You might want to plan a surprise for them when you decide to reveal the good news to them.
- Plan a surprise especially for your good parent and your child.
- Call the good parent for a family outing.
- Allow the good parent to spend time with your child.
- Invite them to your child’s school functions.
- Manage Your Expectations
Choosing a good parent can be a taxing process and it is entirely possible that you may end up getting disappointed. Be mentally prepared for this.
- Don’t ask someone already expecting the answer to be a yes.
- Your first person of choice may say no to becoming a good parent.
- Don’t keep your expectations exceptionally high.
- Prepare for Rejection
This is an important part of finding the perfect good parent. You are bound to face a few rejections if you don’t talk to the prospective good parent first.
- Be thankful that the person backed out before taking up the responsibility.
- Don’t take a refusal personally.
- That person may genuinely not have the time to devote to be a good parent.
- That person may not have a very good relationship with your child.
- Don’t Expect Them to Behave Like a Parent
Make sure you aren’t expecting too much from a good parent. Don’t expect them to step in your shoes and take charge of your child.
- A good parent will only adopt a parental role if something happens to you.
- A good parent is entitled to putting their life before your child’s as long as you are around.
- Make sure you don’t demand too much from your child’s good parent.
- Ensure that you don’t pressurize the good parent.
- Keep your expectations and demands in check.
- Don’t Expect Them to Put Their Life on Hold
Being a good parent is a huge responsibility, but it is, in the end, a safety net for your child. Don’t expect your child’s good parent to put their life on hold completely.
- Don’t demand that your child’s good parent should drop everything and run when you call them.
- Don’t ask your child’s good parent to leave their professional and personal life behind.
- Make sure you aren’t demanding that your child’s godparent leave their life to take care of your child.
- Don’t keep asking your child’s good parent to show up everywhere.
- Don’t Try to Force Your Decision on Them
This is something important you must keep in mind. Your first choice for your child’s godparent may refuse. Make sure that in such a case you don’t force them.
- That person may not have the time to devote to your child.
- That person may not be in a position to take on this responsibility.
- If you force them into it, they may back out later.
- A person who is forced into being a good parent may not perform the duties well.
- That person may have his or her own personal reasons for saying no.
- Accept Them into Your Family
Once you appoint someone to become your child’s good parent, it is important to bring them into the family fold. This is one to ensure that they become a part of all your lives.
- Appraise them about the milestones your child is reaching.
- Invite them to family gatherings.
- Call them when your child is performing in school.
- Teach your child to share problems with his or her good parent.
- Involve them in major decisions involving your child.
- Make Sure Your Child Likes the Person
You cannot go and arbitrarily choose a good parent for your child. Your child should get a say in who gets to be his or her godparent.
- You don’t need to actually consult your child, but do take his or her opinion into account.
- Make sure your child is comfortable around his or her good parent.
- Ensure that everything is smooth between your child and his or her good parent.
- Make sure that your child and his or her good parent understand each other.
- Ensure that your child is able to share things about his or her life with the good parent.
- Inform Your Child Only Once You are Done Asking
Just picking a good parent for your child doesn’t mean that all the work is done. You need to break the news to your child as well.
- Break the news in a happy and cheerful way.
- Ensure that the child is on board with your decision otherwise, the whole practice becomes meaningless.
- You can bring them both face to face and then tell your child the news.
- Don’t downplay the gravity of the role.
- Don’t make your child uncomfortable.
- Consult Your Partner
Selecting the right good parent requires a lot of discussion and deliberation. Make sure you don’t skip or downplay this aspect of choosing a good parent.
- Consult your partner and take his or her opinion on who the godparent should be.
- Make sure you take your partner’s points into consideration while choosing a good parent.
- Choose someone both of you agree upon.
- Make sure that you take the decision together.
- There should not be any resentment between you and your partner about who gets to become a good parent.
- Check Interpersonal Relations
Yes, it is important for your child to be comfortable and happy with them, but your interpersonal relations matter equal to the one with your child.
- Have a good talk with him or her and make sure you both don’t have any doubts regarding each other.
- Make sure to get rid of any insecurity with hand.
- Make sure you’re clear about your ways of children’s upbringing.
- Make sure not to make this a competition among yourselves, it will create an edge among the child.
- Do Not Compare
This is the most difficult and important step when it comes to getting a good parent for the child. Comparison will create drift between you and the parent.
- Comparison among yourselves will increase your interference in his or her, own parenting measures.
- Let him or her adapt their own ways at parenting.
- Do not ask them to change their ways.
- Suggest but only where it is highly needed and do it genuinely and calmly.
- Make Sure You Know Their Idea of Your Family
As weird as this might sound, it is really important for you to know the opinion about the things that are disliked by the god parent.
- Knowing their views beforehand clean slates both of your perspectives.
- Know what aspect of your family or parenting they dislike and would try to change.
- Do not cut them off being defensive.
- Listening to their opinions might make things better for all.
- Make Them Aware of the Challenges
With all the help you give them to settle in with the children, another crucial step will be to make them aware about the challenges they will be facing.
- Let them know about the child’s behavior and traits.
- Tell them what the children like or dislike.
- This will help them apply their coping methods with more ease and efficiency.
- This will bring a sense of warmth and comfort between both them and the children.
- Don’t get too personal or emotional about the decision. You need to be ruthlessly objective regarding who you choose to be the good parent for your child.
- Choose someone based on what they will bring to the table. Don’t consider their temperament or their willingness to be a good parent as deal clinchers.
- Ignore whatever your relatives are saying; this decision has to be your own at all costs regardless of whether or not people agree with it. Go with what you feel is best.
- The right person according to you may not be the right person according to your child. So, make sure that your child is comfortable around whoever you choose.
Make sure you are able to put across what an honor being a good parent is to the person you finally ask to be your child’s good parent.
How do you ask someone about their parents?
What makes someone a good parent?
What is bad parenting?
What are the 4 types of parenting styles?
Ads by Google