The meaning of being assertive is to be direct in what you need, feel, want and believe which also reflects respect for others.

This is a communication skill that can help reduce conflict; at the same time, it helps to build one’s self-confidence as well as improve relationships. Here are, ten ways to practice being assertive in your work and family life:

  1. Encourage Honest and Open Communication
  • One way to being assertive is to know what others feel or believe in.
  • Understand how their opinions stand and their belief system and where it differs from yours. Accordingly, talk about what you feel and how your opinions are formed.
  • Sharing feelings, beliefs, opinions, needs and wants helps to improve relations between people.
  1. Decide to be Assertive in a Positive Way

Commit to being assertive in your dealings with others, especially where you sense a need or want of communication or conflicts that often arise. This is different from being passive.

If you remain withdrawn or silent often the other person is unaware of how you feel and will continue to say and do things that you dislike. On the other hand, being aggressive is pushing your opinion or stating the same in a way as if you want to win over another. The aim is to make another understand of your feelings or views and to show them that you understand their views as well.

  1. Actively Listening

This is an important trait for improving your communication and relationship with others. In order to understand where conflicts lie, you need to first understand what the other person is trying to communicate. Often we take for granted that the other person is trying to oppose or undermine us which can turn out to be untrue if you listen carefully.

  1. Do not Make Another Feel Guilty

Speak honestly about what you feel or what you want without accusing another or saying it in a way that makes another feel guilty.

  1. Do not be Afraid to Disagree

You might have a different viewpoint but that should not make you hesitant to communicate the same to others. It should be stated in a way that you also take into consideration the other person’s point of view.

  1. Speak in a Calm Manner

This is also a requirement when you are communicating with another, especially with different opinions and points of view. If you are upset and raise your voice, it would seem like aggression. To be assertive is to breathe and look normal and communicate in a relaxed manner, looking directly at the other person.

  1. Take on a Different Approach

In order to be positive in being assertive, you need to see things in a positive light. If you think that the other person is your enemy, aggression or defensive behavior automatically reflects in your communication stance.

Try to see the other person’s point of view; usually, people are trying to showcase their opinions or feelings and not trying to attack another. Your reply should be about your differing viewpoint and not personally attacking the feelings of another.

  1. Take Responsibility

In being assertive, you need to showcase ownership of your ideas and thoughts. Hence, include phrases like “I feel”, “I think” in your communication and not phrases like “you never” or “you always” which seem accusing and aggressive.

  1. Show it in your Body Language

It is often not what we say but how we say it. Hence, it is important to maintain a positive body language when you interact with others. Keep a pleasant expression and hold yourself upright to showcase a positive attitude and self-confidence when you communicate with others.

  1. Be Patient

This is another important aspect to remember. No communication can be perfect or understanding might not occur seamlessly between two people all the time. However, with time and patience as well as continuous learning one can learn how to be assertive and see results in their interaction with others. The above points, when kept in mind, can help a person to practice assertiveness in an effective way which can help improve work and personal relationships.

What is an assertive person like?

Being assertive means being able to stand up for your own or other people’s rights in a calm and positive way, without being either aggressive, or passively accepting ‘wrong’. Assertive individuals are able to get their point across without upsetting others, or becoming upset themselves.

How can I be more assertive without being rude?

How to be assertive without being aggressive
  1. Be clear. Try to ask for what you want openly and in a straightforward manner, and state your feelings clearly without directly or indirectly demeaning the other person.
  2. Make eye contact.
  3. Keep your posture positive.
  4. Do your homework.
  5. Take time out.
  6. Avoid accusing.
  7. Keep your cool.

What are the 3 C’s of assertive communication?

What Are The 3 C’s Of Assertive Communication? Confidence – you believe in your ability to handle a situation. Clear – the message you have is clear and easy to understand. Controlled – you deliver information in a calm and controlled manner.

What are assertive techniques?

Assertiveness – Tips & Techniques. Assertiveness is expressing your thoughts, emotions, beliefs and opinions in an honest and appropriate way. As assertiveness should be encouraged in others it is also important to remember that we should always respect the thoughts, feelings, opinions and beliefs of other people.

What are the four assertiveness techniques?

There are a number of assertiveness techniques. These include basic assertion, empathic assertion, consequence assertion, discrepancy assertion, the broken record technique, and negative feeling assertion. It is important to remember your non-verbal communication when using these techniques.

What 3 things describe an assertive person?

Assertive behavior includes being an active listener; behavior which includes good eye contact, not interrupting when the other person is talking, and reflecting back what was just said to confirm the information was heard correctly.

What are 2 signs of an assertive personality?

Signs of assertive behaviour include:
  • initiating or ending conversations.
  • making requests and asking for favors.
  • being able to say “no.”
  • addressing issues that bother you.
  • being firm.
  • expressing both positive and negative emotions.

Is assertiveness good or bad?

Assertive behavior is less inclined to take things personally – aggressive behavior does not take criticism well. Assertive behavior is welcoming, attentive – aggressive behavior is impatient, rushed.

How do you deal with an assertive person?

Step 1 Suss out the situation

If the person wants to speak (even if they are super-assertive), let them. Be quiet and don’t rush in; control yourself and wait it out. Let them get it off their chest. Try not to interrupt them.

What stops you from being assertive?

Many things can squelch our attempts at being assertive — before we ever even start to express ourselves. In a previous piece we talked about three obstacles that stall assertiveness: a sinking self-worth; our fear of disconnecting with the other person; and lack of communication and emotional management skills.

Why can’t I be assertive?

Common barriers to assertiveness:

Fear of another person’s anger or disapproval. Guilt about placing our needs first. Discomfort with asking others to see our preferences as important. Fear of appearing to be ‘selfish’

How can I speak more assertively?

Learning to be more assertive
  1. Assess your style. Do you voice your opinions or remain silent?
  2. Use ‘I’ statements. Using “I” statements lets others know what you’re thinking or feeling without sounding accusatory.
  3. Practice saying no.
  4. Rehearse what you want to say.
  5. Use body language.
  6. Keep emotions in check.
  7. Start small.

How do you be assertive when your shy?

Below are 5 tips to help HSPs become more assertive:
  1. Set boundaries.
  2. Communicate your feelings through assertive writing.
  3. Be mindful of how you present yourself.
  4. Don’t take things personally.
  5. Take control of your happiness.

How can I be more confident in sound?

The 7 Best Tricks to Sounding Confident (Even When You’re Not)
  1. Speak More Slowly. Some of us speak faster when we’re nervous.
  2. Use Pauses to Your Advantage.
  3. Avoid Asides.
  4. Lower Your Vocal Range.
  5. Improve Your Posture.
  6. Gesticulate.
  7. Talk More.

How can I be more assertive at work?

6 Tips for Being More Assertive at Work
  1. Recognize Your Value. The first step toward becoming more assertive is nurturing a realistic and respectful perspective on your value as a person.
  2. Know Your Rights.
  3. Know Your Boundaries.
  4. Prepare and Practice.
  5. Learn the Difference Between Assertive and Aggressive.
  6. Keep Growing.

How can I stand up for myself without anxiety?

Acting with Confidence when You Don’t Feel Confident
  1. Explore the source of your anxiety. What could be causing your fear of standing up to a particular person?
  2. Rehearse the exchange. When anticipating a confrontation, practice what you want to say to the other person out loud.
  3. Be clear and concise.
  4. Let it go afterward.