When decisions are not taken together, things remain stuck in the head and won’t disappear. When things end before you wanted them to, it gets stuck in the head and just won’t disappear. Getting into a committed relationship is not an accident, and here are 20 points to help you take it easy and move ahead with your life.
Use Social Media Wisely or don’t Use at All
Going over to social media could be a devastating thing for you coming out of a long-term relationship. This could go either way, good or bad, but taking care is important.
- As you are vulnerable and not in a good state of mind, staying away from social media is very vital.
- Yes, it can be a great way to meet new people too, but it can be hurtful for many to go through the stage too soon.
- Listening and looking at things from past in pictures, updates, and other things can make things even worse.
- Many people even go the opposite direction trying to prove to their ex that they are enjoying their single life to the fullest.
Do Not Go Unrestrained into the Crowd
When someone is dumped, it is a reflex action to trick your brain to think that you are not affected by it. You specifically do things to let the other person know of that, which eventually harms yourself.
- Known as revenge plots, people go unrestrained to the unimaginable degree to prove to their ex through indirect ways that they are enjoying it.
- They want to prove that they were least affected by being dumped, and they can easily find another person, have sex, have fun.
- This will slowly and firmly start destroying you from inside, making you vulnerable to more damage.
Stay Away from Unknown People
Yes, this is really important as it comes with the same point of being “vulnerable to reaching out”. When you are not in the right state of mind, you can let someone take advantage of you.
- Stay away from narcotics, smoking, and drinking or any kind of stuff that can destroy you.
- It might feel as of everything is gone, and your life is meaningless, but stay put and avoid unknown people.
- Staying near friends and family will not make things better, but will definitely stop anything from getting out of control.
- You don’t have to like them, believe them, just stay around family and friends.
All Talks Mean No Sense to You
Whenever someone comes to you to explain something, it might feel that it is garbage. What do they know about how you feel? How can they understand what you have been through?
- Yes, it is right that no other person can feel things exactly the same way as you do right now.
- But, remember that even you won’t feel things exactly the same way a few months from now.
- When the brain is preoccupied with the memories and sad feelings, there is only one thing that can heal, that is time.
- So, even if all talks mean non-sense to you, ignore them, but stick around and don’t leave.
Recall People Who are Forever Friends
Yes, do not forget one set of the society that has been with you since you were a kid. People who care about you no matter what.
- Now, if you really are wise, go to social media and get in touch with them, talk to them and relive the moments.
- Yes, they might ask you about your relationship, but say the truth and that is it, go to the next topic.
- Your friends will never force you to do stuff like a psychiatrist asking you all sorts of personal things to make their living.
- You can still laugh with them as if nothing ever happened. That is the power of friendship.
Don’t Blame Yourself or Anyone
Unless you have a strong reason, do not blame anyone. The blame-game ends often with revenge or self-demolition, and none of that holds any value.
- Because you want to make sense of everything in your brain and find the answers to why it happened.
- Because you want to know answers to how it got there from everything was alright.
- Your brain asks you to blame someone because somebody did obviously something wrong.
- But it does not have to be that way.
Don’t Be Unkind to Yourself
People start to blame them for their looks or something. Or people say nasty things to their ex or something. If there is really something the reason, it will come along slowly.
- Don’t force yourself to reason with the current situation and let your vulnerability to be unkind to yourself.
- You can become judgmental and start de-motivating yourself, saying pessimistic things to yourself.
- Ultimately, this affects your work, career and even all other things that you loved so much.
- Give yourself a little compassion, understanding, and love yourself.
Have Your Own Wallow Period, but Under Surveillance
You could go and visit some relatives, hang out with some old buddies from school or go to your home if you have been living all by yourself somewhere else.
- It is important to let yourself get some rest and do nothing, but don’t stay alone and empty.
- A break-up is the end of something very significant for your life, and now you need time to come up with it.
- Even if you spend a month of mourning, allow yourself to do, get a period of absence and it will be fine.
Getting Busy with Productive Stuff
Yes, it is important to keep yourself busy, not necessarily a job or something, but still something productive. You don’t have to quit your whole life, dreams and all, just get back and resume.
- Maybe you took a month off from your studies, but that is okay. People get hospitalized after an accident for a couple of months, so you’re not late for anything.
- Even if you missed a year, a promotion, or a few deadlines, it is still okay. The healing time is important and once you’ve cried all you could, you are good to go.
- Involve in your favorite hobbies, it might be writing, traveling, even watching movies and writing about them.
Take up Some Social Work
Often you get a new meaning and perspective to life when you see things for yourself. It is easy to ignore when someone tells you that you are lucky to have a family, food on your plate. Let go of the past.
- When you get up and volunteer for some social work or cause that is close to your heart, you learn more about the essence of life.
- You begin to appreciate the things that matter, the things you have and that you have lost nothing.
- If you followed the above steps, you have not let the vulnerability to cause you more damage.
Release Good Happy Hormones
Good physical health is the key to a healthy mind. They are both related. If you are not feeling good inside, everything else is also bad.
- Go to a park every morning and run for some time. Or, go to your balcony and do some exercise.
- Workout makes your body feel good and more positive. Small things like being able to do 10 pushups compared to none before make you feel better.
- You begin to love yourself and take care of yourself after the breakup.
Find Yourself After the Event
Most people are directionless and get lost amidst the breakup. It feels like their whole life is gone and there is no will to live. Frustration, anger begins to take control.
- As mentioned above, staying with friends, family, and away from things like social media, unknown people and places for a while helps you find yourself.
- You have this problem inside and you have to look inside for the solution. That person with hope and ready to take on the world is hiding inside and you have to find it.
- Helping others, doing some social work, taking up a hobby helps find yourself, all over again.
If You Have Taken the Wrong Path
It is not always that easy to find people to talk to and get off your burden and people who listen to you and try to see what is going on inside of you.
- Most of these times, girls and boys get lost and go on the wrong path. They begin to hurt themselves after the breakup and it feels right.
- They start to blame themselves for either falling in love at first place or for not being smart enough to identify the problem before.
- There is a feeling of being used up and taken advantage of by another person, and many resort to even substance abuse.
Stop Hurting Yourself and Get Help
If you begin to think that whatever happened was for the best, you are already beginning to accept the reality, stop finding answers and hurting yourself from inside. When you are stop eating your head from inside, things start getting better.
- There is a popular saying ‘everything happens for a reason’. You never know, maybe this saved you from an even bigger danger in the future.
- Also, if there have been some issues, and two people truly love each other, they are going to get back together soon, even after a breakup.
- But, for being mature enough, accepting that you two were not right, and whoever called it off first, did it for good.
Again, Love Yourself and Count Your Blessings
As mentioned above, it is easy to ignore all the things that you have and not keep thinking about the only person who was never meant to be with you in the first place.
- There are so many people who do not have even basic rights to life, and here you must be thankful for everything.
- Count all the blessings you have received, for even a single person who loves you, dad, mom, grandma or your dog.
- Be thankful and look at life from a different perspective, and trace back the reality.
Enjoy the Single Time
Yes, for people who are not that type, like extroverts it is impossible to stay in solitude. But, you can still make the best of it by doing the above things.
- Go and hang with your old buddies, friend’s family or colleagues. Remember, that you must not allow your vulnerability to take control of you.
- At the same time, you must enjoy like you were when you were a kid, going places, running and playing.
- Enjoying does not mean from the intent of showing or proving your ex that you are having a blast. Do not be foolish.
Tell Yourself You Deserve Better
It is important to understand the realities of life. Sometimes, even if you did exactly the same as you did the first time and the next ten times, it is possible that the same method may not work again.
- It is possible that you will get someone better and more deserving than your ex.
- It is even possible that you will get no one and have to stay alone the whole life.
- In either of the cases, know that you must not feel dejected and always believe that you deserve better and keep going.
- It is our belief that makes things possible or not possible.
Stop Comparing Yourself with Others
The first things people begin to do right away inside their minds are to compare themselves with people who have a successful relationship. Understand that the things that worked for them, may not work for you.
- So, stop comparing yourself with others and try to find a reason to blame yourself for whatever, not being smart enough, tall enough, fair enough, good looking, or rich enough.
- A life partner is not someone who is for those assets, but someone who is going to share the bad and good times of your life together.
Surround Yourself with Lively People
Be around people who talk good, positive and productive. Or, go to YouTube and watch motivational videos of successful people, whether bodybuilders, scientists, writers, whatever fields you are passionate about.
- Being surrounded by people and friends who laugh with you and encourage you is the best.
- Hang out with people who understand you and can guide you properly, not handing you a bottle of alcohol.
- This avoids mental depression and all-time staying alone and eating up inside your head.
Wish Your Ex All the Best
Even though some things didn’t work out, you still enjoyed some best moments of your life with him or her. Thank that person for his or her kindness during those times.
- People change with time, but if they did something good, they must be appreciated for that.
- When they have changed and are gone, let them go and wish them good luck.
- Staying around positive people, friends and family is the first thing you should do after a breakup.
- Staying away from bad people, unknown corners and bad habits like substance abuse is very important.