Relationships are tough, especially romantic relationships. There are lots of factors involved – feelings, time and commitment, priorities, trust and compatibility, and a desire to be together. But what if you are unsure about your relationship? If you feel your relationship is heading nowhere, perhaps it’s time to break up. If you unsure about how to do that? Here are some useful tips to break up a relationship.

Think Carefully about What You Want

First of all, you need to be sure that you want to break up with your partner. You should consider many things before making that decision.

  • Ask yourself why you feel unsatisfied in your relationship. Be clear as to what is bothering you.
  • Think as to whether the problems in your relationship can be sorted out by having a discussion or not.
  • Consider your feelings for your partner. Do you feel the love fading away? If you do, it’s time to move on.
  • Be certain of your decision. Don’t make a decision on the basis of temporary feelings of anger or hurt.

Let Them Know that You Need to Talk

Before having “the talk”, you should hint your partner that there is something serious you needs to discuss with them.

  • Don’t spring up your feelings directly onto your partner. Prepare them for the conversation.
  • Tell them that there is something going on in your mind that you need to discuss with them.
  • Give them a hint that you want to have a serious talk regarding your relationship.

Pick an Appropriate Time and Location

There are a time and place for everything. When breaking up with someone, it is important to do it the right way.

  • Never break up over a text or a phone call, no matter how angry or upset you are. Ask them to meet you.
  • Be mindful of when you want to have the conversation. Do not bring up the issue if your partner is going through a rough time at their work or at home.
  • Pick a time which is suitable for both of you. Make sure there are no important upcoming events or occasions which may get affected by the break-up.
  • Do not meet in a public place. Pick a place where you both are comfortable and where you have the privacy to talk about your personal life.

Choose Your Words Carefully

Telling someone that you want to break up with them is never easy. You should be very gentle and choose your words wisely.

  • Talk to them as you usually would. Slowly bring up the topic to your relationship.
  • Keeping your emotions in check, tell your partner that the relationship is no longer working for you.
  • Do not raise your voice or use harsh words. Keep your voice soft and be gentle while breaking the news to them.
  • Make eye contact and be sincere as well as honest while talking to them.

Explain to Them What is Going through Your Mind

The break up talk is very tricky. You need to be firm about your decision as well as explain to them why you are breaking up in the first place.

  • Tell them that you have made this decision very carefully and it is not sudden or spontaneous.
  • Explain to them the issues which are currently bothering you about your relationship.
  • Very kindly yet firmly, tell them that even though they are very important to you, you cannot get past the issues and you see no other alternative.

Do Not Play the Blame Game

The conversation can turn bitter and ugly very fast if you are not careful. Maintain respect for each other throughout the discussion.

  • Take responsibility for your own feelings and decisions. Do not blame them for whatever has gone wrong in your relationship.
  • Do not criticize or insult them. Be neutral and polite.
  • Acknowledge the fact that the relationship was a joint effort and you have shortcomings too.
  • Do not lash out or take jibes at them. Maintain a friendly and respectable vibe.

Be Kind and Listen to What They have to Say

Hearing that your partner wants to break up with you can be very painful and disconcerting. Give a chance to your partner to express themselves.

  • Your partner may feel conflicted and hurt. Be patient and listen to their side.
  • It may be possible that your partner may get angry and say things which they don’t mean. Try to be understanding and do not take it to heart.
  • Your partner may want to reconcile and may ask you to re-think your decision. Be gentle yet assertive that you are sure about your decision.
  • Give them time to accept the situation and let them vent out their feelings. Be empathetic and supportive.

Acknowledge Your Love and Feelings

Even though the relationship did not last, you and your partner had something special. There will always be a bond between the two of you.

  • Tell your partner that they mean a lot to you and that you still consider them to be very special.
  • Make them understand that you still love them and have feelings for them despite the relationship not working out.
  • Tell them that you respect them and will always cherish your relationship with them along with all the beautiful memories.

Give Some Time and Space to Each Other

Once you have had the break up talk, give time to your partner to come to terms with the fact that your relationship has ended.

  • Give them some space. Do not text them or call them even if you are concerned about how they are doing.
  • Inform your mutual friends that you are no longer in a relationship so that there will be no awkward situations.
  • If you frequently visited each other’s place, take your belongings back so that there is a clean slate on your relationship.
  • Steer clear from social media. Do not post anything pertaining to your relationship and give both yourself and your partner time to get over your relationship.

Part Ways Amicably and Stay Friends

Once both of you have come to terms with the fact that you are no longer together, discuss your status quo with each other.

  • Do not block them or delete them from social media, if you cannot remain, friends, try to be cordial with each other.
  • Maintain your boundaries and know your limits. You may be tempted to get back together but remind yourself of why you broke up in the first place.
  • Ask them if they are comfortable with being friends. It may take some time, but eventually, you will get comfortable around each other.


  • Breaking up a long-term relationship is never easy to be cautious.
  • If you plan out the conversation carefully, it will save you and your partner a lot of heartaches.
  • Ensure that you put your points across respectfully.