Most of the good people will tell you about ending up a relationship of 4-5 years over Skype video call, or removing your name slowly one day from the Facebook’s relationship status, but ending up a long distance relationship which has been nourished and pampered so well over the years is not easy to do, it takes lot of patience understanding. Let’s discuss such not so easy and not yet so hard steps here:
- Timing is Everything
Whether you want to be remembered as a good partner or a bad partner depends on how did you end up your relationship. It is being saint or a devil.
- There is no gain, no loss but be kind and considerate about the timing.
- It will give you a sense of satisfaction and a good memory of you to your partner.
- Don’t do it when your partner is making the most important plan.
- Always Give a Hint about the Things to Come
Just picking up a phone call and ending up a relationship without giving her even a hint about it is indeed a shock for her. Give her small little hints in advance.
- Give hints to your partner by not replying her text messages.
- This will prepare them for the things that you are likely to say.
- And when you finally declare your decision they would already be prepared for it.
- Talk about Your Never Spoken Problems
You should not regret about not giving voice to your problems after a breakup. Hence, talk about your problems and discomforts.
- Who knows after voicing your problems, the game might turn around.
- It will also help you in keeping the things clear in your next relationships.
- It is a chance, an experience about how to speak about your problems.
- Be Serious When You Say Your Last Words to Her
Be serious about your words and expressions when you say your last words to your partner. It should not feel like some prank that you are playing with them as usual.
- Breaking up is not a joke hence it should be taken seriously by both the partners.
- Do not make fun of your partner while saying the parting words.
- Be serious but not harsh and rude.
- Use Phone Call or Skype Video Call
Make sure when you say the difficult words of separation you are looking into her eyes, even if with regrets. The reason is to be as emotionally intimate and as personal as possible.
- It will be a bit difficult and insulting to just break up over a text message.
- Don’t be scared of her reaction, use a phone call or Skype video call.
- Face this difficult situation don’t run away from it.
- Always Add a Valid Reason Along
Breaking up with some silly reason is a bad way of breaking up. Give the best reason followed with various valid points which also gives you enough confidence.
- Just because you are not in a good mood you should not decide to break up with your girlfriend.
- Also do not give silly childish reasons that made you to take this serious decision.
- Point out your faults also, if you feel like saying any of them.
- Clarify about the Other Person
It is most important to clarify that you are not breaking up because of some other person. This act will keep you in her good list.
- Clarify about the cheating angle in your breakup decision.
- It is not because you have met somebody better, but because you want a break.
- This will clarify your image as not a cheater in her eyes.
- Follow up to Smooth the Things Further
It is mark of a gentleman to put forward his genuine reasons in front of his loved ones so that they can understand the reason why he had taken this decision.
- Send her a nice well written email, and still remain a gentleman her view.
- Write down all the important reasons step by step.
- Use simple language and easy examples from life don’t be too poetic.
- Don’t Let the Hopes Keep Floating
If distance is the reason, please do not use it, because this can make the other partner believe that things can get normal if they solve the distance problem.
- Tell me your partner you want a break from the relationship and not the person.
- Also inform you want to gather yourself to get back to life.
- Be serious and genuine when you inform about the reasons.
- Don’t Expect too Much
Please do not expect your partner to be a wisdom tree, at present she is going through the most delicate time and could not decide how to react.
- Give her some time to breathe even if she is angry and agitated.
- Do not expect wise behavior at this moment.
- Don’t do anything stupid which disturbs her even more.
- Burn All the Bridges
It is better to disconnect all the bridges all the connections that you both partners have between you so you cannot reconnect.
- The best way to break up successfully is to complete this connection with your partner.
- You can even try not to respond to her best friends also.
- Consider this disconnection as a temporary exercise.
- Remove the Online Connections
Not just the phone calls, text messages and frequent emails but also disconnecting her from Facebook, Instagram, Twitter and other social media apps is advisable.
- Do not reply if both of you work tagged on Facebook in a post.
- If a friend of your partner messages you online, avoid.
- Also avoid visiting her wall or reading her posts again and again.
- Difficult to Leave Long Term Relationship Than Short Term
Since the long term relationship is based on the long term investment of emotions, the bond formed is also very strong to break.
- All kinds of emotions are attached in every part of your house and life.
- Long term relationships are also based on long term investment of time.
- There are lots of habits and dependencies that has to be removed.
- Remain Clear about Post Breakup Arrangements
Are you going to have a complete breakup or are you still going to see each other or talk to each other. You need to decide and make arrangements.
- If you are going to talk to each other how often?
- And up to what time is it for the lifetime or just few years?
- This makes things clear about what to expect and what to not from the ex-partner.
- Control Emotions and Means of Communication
If your partner was emotionally attached to you it will be difficult for her to leave you, she will definitely try to call you or text you or get in touch with you somehow.
- Constant attempt to get in touch with you can also change your mind.
- You need to set your boundaries the do’s and don’ts.
- Don’t get flown away into emotional memories and start texting her back.
- Stay Disciplined and Controlled but Also Compassionate
Keeping the sensitivity of the other person into consideration is the main key to go through this situation successfully.
- Stay controlled according to your plan but also do not prove yourself insensitive.
- It won’t harm your ego if you take the blame of separation on your head temporarily.
- Above all do not lose your temper, this is the not even the last thing you want to do.
- Check Out Plan for the Worst Situation to Come
In a long term relationship you know about your partner’s weak points and her ability to handle the situation and also about her the outcomes.
- Think and remain prepared for the worst actions that your partner can get into.
- Keep in touch with your lawyer just in case.
- Also talk to your partner’s best friends about keeping an eye on her to avoid situations.
- Whom to Say What
The close friends and family members and the office staff who had been known to you both will definitely ask about your break up due to curiosity.
- You might want to give different answers to different people according to their relation with you.
- Also take favors from close friends, to not to be seen as a victim.
- Also remain strict while replying to the casual acquaintances about your personal life.
- Professional Help can be Better
After breaking up from a long term relationship the emotional attachments take time to heal and Readjust for both the partners, a professional counseling can do wonders.
- Have a deep and in-depth conversation with your counselor.
- You can invite your partner to these conversations in presence of your counselor of course.
- Remain clear about your agenda of conversation and stick to it.
- Consider Yourself a Human
If your partner is an emotional roller coaster then you are also swimming in the same water, don’t be so hard on yourself, you are also a human.
- Express yourself in front of some trusted old friend or family member.
- Cry if you want to it will relieve you from pain to some extent.
- Explain yourself that you just faced a loss in life and it’s a part of life.
- Decide the Future of Your Pets
Give importance to the partner who was more close to the pet, rather than getting emotional and taking the pet with you.
- Decide what is more beneficial for the pet.
- Think of your pet as your children and then take the decision in their favor.
- You can meet your pet weekly at some place.
- Do Not Criticize or Bad Mouth Your Ex-Partner
You both can have a difference in opinion, but now that you have separated chances are that you may badmouth your ex-partner in front of your friends, avoid it.
- Avoid getting carried away emotionally.
- Also temporarily avoid people with negative thoughts.
- Ask people not to discuss a topic related to your ex-partner.
- Take a Vacation
Enroll yourself into various creative activities like taking up an art residency vacation, for going on a mountaineering trip with few close friends.
- This will avoid the same thoughts coming to your head again and again.
- Disconnect your mobile phone and other communication when on vacation.
- Enjoy the ambience of the place on vacation.
- Stay Ready for the Cost of Living Separately
Living in two different separate places can be costly for both of you; also you will need two different cars.
- Also you will need two different cooks, at two different places.
- Spend wisely and only on the important things first.
- Start learning to cook, wash and other basic activities.
- If you have broken up to join a new partner then take her company as support to recover from your earlier relationship trauma.
Keep your heart big and acceptance open to take the even the unnecessary blame from your partner and her closed ones.