Dealing with a breakup is never a pleasant thing to have to go through. No matter if the relationship was long-lasting or short-lived, coming to terms with the fact that it did not work out can sometimes be hard. Here are some tips that may help ease the initial pain of the breakup.
Don’t overanalyze everything that went wrong in the relationship
- Going over every fight and issue and trying to determine what you should have or could have done differently won’t solve anything.
- Dwelling too heavily on the negatives will make moving on in a positive direction all the more difficult.
- Think about the issues and reasons for the breakup only as much as you need to gain closure. Giving too much thought will only be a cause for more feelings of guilt, regret or self-pity.
Remove all reminders of the relationship from your daily life
- Delete their phone number, and unfollow their social media accounts. Get rid of anything that would enable you to reach out to them, or be reminded of them through pictures, videos or other posts.
- If you have any of their possessions, return them or otherwise get rid of them. Holding onto a sweatshirt or piece of jewelry that belonged to them will only remind you of what you no longer have. Make an attempt to return it, or set up a time for them to come to pick it up.
- Removing reminders from your daily life doesn’t mean you have to throw old photos, gifts, notes or mementos away. You can store these items in a box and just keep them out of sight and out of mind until the pain of the breakup subsides.
Seek out healthy coping methods and activities
- Joining a gym or starting up an athletic or physical activity such as hiking, kickboxing, running, or anything that will help you work out your emotions in a physical way. Working out creates endorphins which can help combat some of the sadness associated with breakups.
- It’s okay to go out for drinks with friends after the breakup, however, it is not okay to rely on alcohol or other substances to forget the way you are feeling. Remember that your health comes first.
- Self-care routines are important at all times, but when going through something traumatic like a breakup, taking a little extra time to make yourself feel special during a period of your life where you may feel less than your best can go a long way.
- Do lots of fun activities with friends where you can go out and try new things. Take classes, go outside, join clubs or groups to meet like-minded people. Use this time to broaden your horizons and work on you as a person.
Don’t ask mutual friends about your ex
- If you were in a relationship for any length of time, you will have some mutual friends or common acquaintances with your ex. It is still perfectly okay to interact with these people, however, you should not make all of your interactions about your ex.
- Asking for updates on whether or not they are dating anyone new, what they are doing in their lives, or if they have said anything about you will most likely lead to answers that you don’t want to hear.
- In the same vein, if your mutual friends are asking about you on your ex’s behalf, respectfully ask them to leave your breakup out of the conversation. You cannot successfully move on if you are constantly being asked to think about that person, or if you are constantly wondering what they are up to.
- Avoid going to parties and events where you know that your ex will be, even if you were invited by a mutual friend. Let them know that you appreciate the invite, but that you are respectfully trying to separate yourself from your ex.
Don’t immediately suggest that you try to stay friends with your ex
- Sometimes a couple can break up and remain friends. When you have shared a large part of your life with someone, it may seem strange that they will no longer be a part of it.
- Remember that this is not the best option for all couples who break up, and even if it is something that you both want to try, make sure that you give yourself enough space to fully think about whether or not it is the best thing to do.
- Don’t try to be friends with the hopes of rekindling the relationship. That will set the friendship up for disaster, and most likely ruin any chance of making the relationship work again.
- Give yourself time to process your feelings and allow yourself to think about the breakup in a healthy way before moving on either as friends or separately.