The end of a long term relationship can feel devastating. You no longer have the one person who has been a constant in your life, the person that you had maybe made plans for the future with, and that can leave you feeling lost and unsure of how to move on with your life. Follow these tips to pick yourself up after the loss of a long term relationship.

Remember that you are more than your relationship

  • You were a whole person all by yourself before you were in your long term relationship. You had likes and dislikes, interests, hobbies, skills, talents, and goals. Just because your relationship is over doesn’t mean that you don’t still have a full and meaningful life.
  • After you’ve given yourself enough time to properly grieve the loss of the relationship, re-engage in the things that have always brought you joy.
  • Spend time with friends and family and people who make you laugh.
  • Try getting into some new hobbies or trying a new sport or activity. Something that you never would have done with your ex, or something that you wanted to do but that they were not into. You may not love it, but at least you’ll have tried something new, and putting yourself out there in even that small way will help you take the next steps in dealing with your breakup.

Decide when you are ready to get back into dating

  • Don’t rush into a rebound style relationship if you are not emotionally ready, as that can be just as confusing or difficult to deal with as your breakup.
  • Start slow and try not to go into potential new relationships with expectations other than finding someone that you have things in common with, or that you have fun with.
  • Understand that the next relationship you are in is not going to feel as comfortable right away as your long term relationship was. That’s okay, in fact, it’s great because it means that you get to experience all of the fun first things all over again with someone that makes you smile.

Allow yourself to feel your emotions for as long as you need

  • You may suddenly become angry or sad or feel alone or stressed when dealing with the loss of a long term relationship. That is okay and normal.
  • Don’t try to cut off your emotions. Bottling up the feelings will only make them explode later in a much more unpleasant and inconvenient way.

Use the breakup as a learning opportunity

  • Try to find a silver lining or something positive to take away from the breakup. Maybe you learned something about yourself or about the type of person that you want to be with.
  • Try to think about what went wrong and how- if possible- you can avoid the same types of things from happening again.
  • Going over and over all the sad and unpleasant memories and all of the arguments won’t help. But going back and recognizing the warning signs could potentially be helpful in the long run.

How do you end a long term relationship with someone you love?

The most respectful way to end a relationship is in person, unless that feels unsafe. Choose a private location to avoid an embarrassing scene, but try to avoid having your talk at home so you can leave soon after. The conversation may last a long time or become distressing.

How long does it take to get over a long term relationship?

According to research published in The Journal of Positive Psychology, it takes 11 weeks to feel better after a relationship ends. But a separate study found it takes closer to 18 months to heal from the end of a marriage.

Do long term relationships get back together?

“A certain percent of couples do get back together. However the more serious the issues the harder it is to transcend and make a relationship work.” The best way to know if you and your ex are in that percentage of couples who might try again to make a relationship work could be by having an open conversation about it.

What percentage of breakups get back together?

According to new research, almost 50 percent of couples break up, and then get back together again.

Do relationships ever work after a breakup?

Getting together after a breakup is a very common thing: A study found that almost 50% of couples admitted to reuniting with their partner after they had broken things off. But even though it’s done pretty frequently, rebuilding a relationship after a breakup is no easy feat.

Do relationships work after cheating?

In practice, it tends to be uncommon for a relationship to survive instances of cheating. One study found that only about 16 percent of couples who’d experienced unfaithfulness were able to work it out.

Do couples get back together after months apart?

Most couples do break up before they meet the person they will end up with. But some couples defy the rule and get back together again after weeks, years, or even decades apart.

Can a broken relationship be restored?

While you have every right to feel hurt and angry, there should be a desire to work on the relationship. “Trust can never be restored until the person whose trust was broken allows their partner a chance to earn it back,” Kraushaar affirms.

How do you know if a relationship is worth saving?

The first way to know if your relationship is worth saving is that you are both committed to growth, individually and together. When couples reach out for support, they are often in a difficult time of heightened conflict, betrayal, or disconnect.

What are signs of a failing relationship?

7 Warning Signs You’re In a Failing Relationship
  • Resentment. Resentment grows when someone feels unheard or dismissed.
  • Disrespect. Mutual respect is a cornerstone of all successful relationships.
  • Dishonesty.
  • Mistrust.
  • Distancing.
  • Defensiveness.
  • Contempt.

How do you get the spark back in a broken relationship?

Once the communication is back on track, try these seven tips to reignite the spark:
  1. Boost your dopamine —together.
  2. Kiss more often.
  3. Remember what it was like when you first met.
  4. Make a list of sexual possibilities.
  5. Keep the mystery alive.
  6. Get in touch with your own sexuality.
  7. Seek out a relationship coach.

How can I bring the spark back?

Here are a few practical tips to help get the spark back:
  1. Try something new together. A lot of the time, relationships lose their spark simply because you and your partner fall into the same old pattern and routine.
  2. More physical touch.
  3. More intimacy.
  4. More praise and positive affirmations.
  5. Try relationship coaching.

How can I rebuild my relationship?

Rebuilding trust when you’ve hurt someone
  1. Consider why you did it. Before you embark on the process of rebuilding trust, you’ll first want to check in with yourself to understand why you did it.
  2. Apologize sincerely.
  3. Give your partner time.
  4. Let their needs guide you.
  5. Commit to clear communication.

Can I save my relationship?

In order to save and strengthen a relationship, both partners need to do their own inner work. “It’s important for both individuals to work on themselves and connect with their core values and strengths,” Pawelski says. Only then can you work together as a couple to try to strengthen your relationship.”

How do you fix a relationship you ruined by cheating?

Here are a few important actions to take together that can help repair your relationship.
  1. Make sure there is remorse.
  2. Be honest about why it happened.
  3. Remove temptations to re-engage with the affair.
  4. Move forward with brutal honesty and care.
  5. Be selective about who you tell.
  6. Consider working with a licensed therapist.

How do I get my relationship back on track?