Being a good conversationalist is important, be it with your friends in a social setting or a business meeting, or even if you’re meeting someone for the first time. If anything, then being good at your conversation skills is the first impression you create on others. It is important for both professional and social networking. So, see below the ways you can improve your conversational skills.

  1. Break the Ice

The first impression is the last impression. This one statement is what you have to stick to through all the measures of being a great conversationalist and the foundation for that is to be the first one to take intuitive on your part among the others.

  • Be the first one to introduce yourself with a positive approach towards all.
  • This will show your self-confidence and belief to others which will create a positive impact over them.
  • Being the first one to break the ice shows leading qualities in you, this is impressive to others.
  • It represents your interest in the discussion and the other individuals in the same.
  1. Avoid Being Dominated

Often, when you’re trying to be a part of a conversation or discussion, certain other individuals try and dominate over you. They might overshadow your views and opinions and keep on narrating their own stories. You might not want to let this happen as this creates an inferiority barrier among others.

  • When such a situation occurs, start a follow-up discussion on the topic started by the dominant.
  • A positive narrative over the on-going topic will gather everybody’s attention towards you.
  • This will represent a brave and courageous approach of yours towards obstacles to others.
  1. Small Talk Style

Nobody is enthusiastic towards listening to the long narratives or stories. People like small and interesting talks, the ones that keep them captivated to the scenario.

  • Make small talks about the rather latest trends and topics going around.
  • Show them your insights into how you perceive the information being generally provided to all.
  • In such situations, avoid mixing personal occurrences to that of the general ones.
  1. Be Genuinely Interested

Be genuinely interested in knowing more about your surroundings and the other individuals involved. Who are they? What’s their thought process? What if they enjoy doing? What are their strengths or weaknesses? These are the questions that must run through your mind, for starters.

  • Such genuine and not just an artificial interest makes it easy to fly the conversation in the right direction.
  • An uninterested conversation spreads like water; it won’t take much time for the opposites to understand that.
  • An artificial interest in the conversation makes it distasteful and dents your impression.
  1. Hit the Positive

Your main focus should be talking about positive topics. Rather than talking about old grievances, choose topics for discussions about future goals.

  • Rather than talking about how the traffic today made you run late, talk about the movie you’re going to watch later in the evening.
  • It is okay to talk about negative topics, but only when the opposite party seems to go with it and likes it.
  1. Do not Debate, Converse

One conversation is the kind of platform where views can turn into opinions and if not handled maturely might turn into a boxing ring of words. A conversation should be maintained lightly and not a way to put each other’s opinion down. Put out your opinions and ideas but amiably.

  • A conclusion or an agreement is not always necessary in a conversation, do not aim for that.
  • The need for convergence of every conversation, makes it draining and not worth enjoying.
  • Keeping the conversation open-ended is the best option.
  1. Respect

Don’t criticize or impose, or judge while being a part of a conversation. Learn to listen with patience what others have to say, even if you feel the need to criticize their opinions wait for the right time, so it doesn’t leave a negative impact on others.

  • Always respect other people’s point of view and opinions.
  • Do respect their boundaries and space; do not wiggle into their narrative until and unless you receive a sign for the same.
  • They have the right to be themselves, just as you do to be yourself. Remember that.
  1. Highlight the Good

In a conversation, by default, we present a very good form of ourselves to be liked by others. But if you can put the other person in his/her best light, that is a winning characteristic for being a conversationalist.

  • Always make the conversation flow in the direction where you can make the other person look good.
  • Always learn to give credit to those who deserve it, be it better than you.
  • Drop compliments to those who earned it and allow them to reserve their light.
  1. Stick to Your Own

You must embrace your difference to other’s views while building common ground with others. We know everyone is different with their own independent opinions, but at the same time, we are always capable of acknowledging the commonalities among each other.

  • You must agree to disagree if you’re clashing with others on their ideas.
  • While conversing, try to find the common link between each other and start building on that.
  1. Be Loyal to Yourself

One of the best assets that we own is our true selves. No matter what happens, we must not lose sight of it. You must embrace your uniqueness and get on with it. Don’t cover it up to be a part of the crowd; your unique traits are what make you different from others.

  • If you keep miming other person’s words or opinions, they’ll start feeling pretty boring.
  • Be ready to share your own real opinions and thoughts over the topic going on.
  • Stay proud of what you make a stand for and be courageous to share that with others.
  1. Equal Sharing

Equal sharing of views, opinions, and ideas are an essential part of a conversation. A great conversation should always be made by equal sharing from all those involved. It can be 30-70 or 60-40 or 40-60 sometimes, based on the circumstances but ethically both parties should have equal opportunities of discussing and contributing.

  • If you have been talking for a while then you must pose the other party opportunity to be a part of the conversation.
  • And if the other party has been conversing for a long time, then take an initiative to politely slide yourself in the conversation and share more.
  1. Ask Undeviating Questions

A question extracts answers. It depends on the nature of the questions as to where the conversation will steer. In order to have a relevant conversation, the nature of those questions must be relevant too.

  • You must initiate with simple and trivial or everyday questions.
  • Once you get to know the person better then you might ask more thorough and revealing questions.
  • Start off with questions about their interests or their future goals.
  1. Give and Take

Sometimes during the conversations, people might lose the sight of their surroundings and in their idea of getting comfortable might say a few odd or uncomfortable things. And the reactions might lead to the realization for that person.

  • In such situations, the benefit of doubt must be provided to the narrator.
  • It might be possible that sometimes the same mistake is made by us, in order to get the same support, you must provide it first.
  • You should just ignore or laugh it off as it turns it into a funny banter than an uncomfortable situation.
  • Leading an uncomfortable situation to funny conversation banter creates a very positive image of you in front of the others.
  1. Body Language

Except for the words spoken, body language is a bigger factor through which people can easily judge whether you are interested in a conversation or not. So, it is relatively very important to maintain an accurate body language.

  • Do not cross your arms over your chest, this might make you look annoyed or closed off.
  • Keeping your shoulders back flexed and loose shows your interest in the conversation is uptight.
  • Make sure you maintain healthy eye contact as a mark of being engaged in the conversation.
  1. Don’t be a People Pleaser

Nobody likes people pleaser. Constantly agreeing to the points others have put forward and not giving a piece of your own conscious will portray a loose image of you among others. It initially is a form of annoyance. Flattery and pandering are the signs of a bad conversationalist.

  • In order to connect and bond, agreeing with everything is indigenous.
  • No one likes hearing empty praises, they only respond to real and honest connections.
  1. Leave a Bad Conversation the Right Way

Know how and when to leave a conversation that is not fun anymore to be a part of. Leaving suddenly might make it look arrogant on your part and an insult to them. Using the right statement politely will make it look nice on your part.

  • Always use “on that note” as it depicts the need to leave and not just another reason to chicken out.
  • This won’t make you look rude, but just oblivious.
  • This works on people who get too caught up in their conversation, it’s not rude or selfish, but just how they are.
  1. Self Confidence

The confidence we find in ourselves is developed and acquired; it is not something we are born with. With a lack of self-confidence, we lack in others liking or choosing us. This trait becomes very apparent in the conversations turning it your ability to make people smile or laugh.

  • You must act and speak like successful speakers, with confidence and affinity.
  • Even if you feel fear, you must act up all strong and calm from your body language.
  • If you face any problems, seek them out and prove it to yourself and others that you’re capable.
  1. Remember the 5 Ws

The most important 5 Ws in a conversation is, WHO, WHAT, WHEN, WHERE and WHY or HOW. It is hard to keep a conversation going if the other entire people offering are short answers only. In order to not get into such a situation, one must always follow this rule.

  • These 5Ws must be the starting for every question you ask others.
  • Such questions are a thoughtful one for the others, which may lead to receiving a very interesting response from them.
  • This also shows the kind of curiosity you carry in order to keep the conversation going.
  1. Pivot to Your Preference

Always politely steer the conversation in the direction you want to take it in. the more smoothly the conversation flows, the better it is for you, your image and every other person’s perspective about you. Certain statements and questions must be adapted for the same.

  • Suppose for a job interview, you’re curious to know about your salary you may start by quoting “let me tell you what happened once” and lead your way into it.
  • This is a way of pointing to your talents and show your metalogical excellence.
  1. “Tell Me More”

Show the person you genuinely want to know more about them and not just for the sake of keeping the conversation going. This phrase is most commonly used to depict interest in what others are saying, both formally and informally.

  • You can show empathy towards their stories by sharing one about yourself which resembles their situation.
  • This method strengthens the communication bond among each other.
  • Such interests show your inner talents to the others and make them want to continue talking to you.
  1. Match Volume to the Setting

Always pay attention to the setting you are in. your speaking volume must always match to that of the setting your being part of a conversation in. if you’re speaking to a large group, your voice must be loud but if you’re in a private setting then you have to keep your voice low.

  • Suppose if you’re at a restaurant, rather than being loud you can lean in and talk to your companion in a lower voice.
  • The tone of your voice must match the enthusiasm about the nature of what you’re telling.
  1. Open-Ended Questions

Questions whose answers lead to yes or no aren’t much-preferred questions for a conversation. It doesn’t give others a natural opportunity to talk more and expand their views. Therefore, asking open-ended questions make it way easier in a conversation.

  • You must form your questions like “tell me about the sport you excel in” rather than asking which sport do you like?
  • One must keep in mind to not ask too personal or inappropriate questions, which are unrelated to the ongoing conversation.
  • Also, make sure to not repeat the same question again and again as this will make them lose interest in talking to you.


  • Always stay familiar to the latest news or trends when leaving for a formal or a networking event. It will help you to participate more in the ongoing conversations.

The more you’re out there talking to different people, the more it will open you up to be more natural and extrovert to make conversations, so get out there more.

What are the 6 steps to being a great conversationalist?

Six Habits of The Best Conversationalists
  1. They Listen More Than They Talk.
  2. They Don’t Always Interject Their Experiences.
  3. They Admit What They Don’t Know.
  4. They Are Well Read.
  5. They Look For Cues.
  6. They Let Go Of The Details.

What are the qualities of a good conversationalist?

Six essential qualities of a good conversationalist
  • Courtesy.
  • Active listening.
  • Know when to be silent.
  • Self disclosure (know what and when to share)
  • Be curious, interested and interesting.
  • Leave your companion feeling good for being in your company.

How do I become a better socializer?

5 Tips That Makes You a Better Socializer
  1. It All Starts with Being a Good Listener.
  2. Contribute and Add to the Interaction.
  3. Filter Yourself Less and Be More Socially Uninhibited.
  4. Always Keep A Positive Vibe, Either Verbal or Non-Verbal.
  5. Control your Tone, Energy, and Body Language.
  6. To Sum It Up.

Do guys like quiet girls?

You could even say that shy girls might be more appealing and feminine. This isn’t necessarily true in all instances, but some guys do feel this way about shy girls. You might find that men will prefer shy dating girls because they feel more like their ideal vision of what they want out of a girlfriend.

Why Being quiet is powerful?

Since talk encourages more talk, they choose to stay silent, instead of having meaningless conversations. Being quiet can be powerful. When you’re silent, other people feel uncomfortable. They often feel compelled to fill the silence, so they reveal more about themselves.

Is it OK to be quiet?

Some people are born being extroverts and having outgoing personalities, but for some of us, we were born being shy and quiet souls who only talk to the select few that we feel comfortable with. There’s nothing wrong with being quiet and only talking when you feel like it. It’s okay to be quiet.

Is being quiet attractive?

Because of introverts’ natural tendency to devour books and observe others, they often develop an especially reflective and rich inner world. Your quiet may be just the attractive magnet that leads an extrovert to introduce him or herself. So consider your thoughtful nature to be an attractive quality—and own it!

Is being too quiet bad?

Don’t feel bad for being quiet and introverted, there’s nothing wrong with it, though society will make you feel it is. It’s the same with every person who doesn’t conform and isn’t average. You’ll just have to learn to turn a blind eye to those who don’t realise this. You’re unique.

Is being too quiet a weakness?

People see quietness as a form of weakness because they think they can bully you and you won’t speak up for it. It’s easier for someone to have control and power over a shy and reserved person than a loud and vocal one. Don’t focus so much on fitting in, focus on working on yourself.

Is being called quiet an insult?

Calling someone quiet is a bit of a social faux pas

Anything that makes someone feel that way obviously isn’t good form, which means that when a person points out you’re being quiet, they’re the one making a social mistake.

Is being introvert a weakness?

Introverts also tend to be self-aware. Many extroverts tend to see introversion as a weakness. These characteristics of introverts that are sometimes seen as weaknesses can be turned into positives, though. Because introverts are very observant, they tend to have much more meaningful relationships.

Is it OK to be quiet in meetings?

Sometimes meetings can feel like “survival of the loudest” — but staying quiet can pay off. Writing on Medium, Tim Denning poses that the people we should take note of during meetings are those who talk least.

Why are the quiet ones dangerous?

The quiet ones are as dangerous as they are because they have a set of beliefs that they are unlikely to waver from – beliefs that resulted in years of getting to know oneself. Having such beliefs, such a clear depiction of one’s reality, make one disciplined and – more importantly – hungry.

What is a quiet personality?

An introvert is a person with qualities of a personality type known as introversion, which means that they feel more comfortable focusing on their inner thoughts and ideas, rather than what’s happening externally. When you hear the word introvert, you might think of someone who’s shy or quiet and prefers to be alone.