Today’s modern society is more focused on being vain, material things, and the goals of always getting what you want are elements that encourage everyone to be selfish.
Empathy for others is the least of the concerns as thinking about your personal gain is the main priority.
You may win and gain in every game due to selfishness but it can get in the way of your relationship with family and friends, colleagues, and the people around you.
Many still believed that life is so much better when you know how to prioritize others first. Life is great when you know how to find the balance between taking care of your priorities and needs and minding other’s needs.
Here are some simple with big impact ways on how to stop being selfish.
- Listen. Be a better listener. Learning how to listen to others will teach us how to be less selfish. It is also a way to build a good relationship with our family and friends. It teaches us to be humble, to let go of the need to speak, and to share your own point of view. Listen attentively and give appropriate responses when needed. This will allow you to connect with friends or family members. It may be small but it is a big step towards being selfless.
- Empathize. Selfish people always want to be the center of attraction. The road to being considerate involves allowing others to express their feelings and needs. Be considerate about other people’s situations or what they are going through. Most of all, understand others.
- Be generous. Consider the art of giving. Give some of your extra money to charities or any fundraising event to support a group that you are interested in. Or if you do not have the extra cash, you can hand out things that you think might of be of use for others like books, clothes, shoes, or any useful things.
- Donate your free time. Share your free time by participating in charity events or volunteer as kitchen help or for a crisis hotline. Even without cash involved, you can still help others through your spare time. The more you will volunteer your extra time, the more you will see the needs of others.
- Pick up your battles. Do not fire back at your rude workmate or that cranky dude at the coffee shop. Do not waste your energy with negative people and negative issues. Let go of the things that will not make you happy. It is not being a pushover but negativity does not deserve your time and energy.
- Learn the art of surprise. Putting a sticky note with a feel good message on your workmate’s computer monitor can make a big difference. A stem of rose for your Mom or a female friend who’s having a hard day will put a smile on their face. A small gesture that shows you are aware of someone’s feelings can make a big difference.
- Get in touch with your parents. Give your parents a call anytime which will be beneficial for all parties involved. Continuous emotional support from your parents is psychologically advantageous. Ask how they have been doing, their daily routine, and any activities or interests they are up to. Share to them news about school, work, or just anything about your personal life. Allow them to be in your life.
- Connect with your neighbors. When was the last time you said hi to a neighbor? Start getting to know your neighbors and people in your area. Introduce yourself if you have the chance, or say hello. Knowing the people around you gives you the feeling of being happy and secure.
- Break old habits. Replace old habits with new and positive ones. Good habits help build better relationships. Stay focused on achieving happiness and fulfillment. Value relationships with others and ourselves.
- Overcome the need for control. The desperate need to control everything is annoying. It can ruin a friendship and any form of relationship. Let others decide where to go, what to eat, what movie to watch, or how the day will go. Stop being bossy.
- Reach out. Do not wait for the phone to ring or somebody to call you. Take the initiative to get in touch to catch up. Start by calling someone that comes in your mind. Go and pick up that phone now.
- Compromise. Give up the idea that life is about winning. Trampling whoever comes your way is not applicable all the time and that giving in is not an option. Do not try to be always right. Keep an open mind and learn how to compromise. Whether you are dealing with a friend, a boss, a workmate, family members, or your partner, it is important to know when to stand your ground. Learn to accommodate other people’s differing opinions, views, or desires without hurting your own.
- Acknowledge shortcomings and mistakes. Take responsibility for your actions and stop the blame game. When you start to admit your faults and flaws, you also start to consider other people and their opinion.
Being nice, kind, and considerate is the least that you can do in this chaotic world. Having a very high opinion about yourself will eventually break you and your relationships. The inability to see and care for others will lead to conflicts or breakups.
Now, if you are a selfish person, you can still change. It does not mean that you will remain to be a self-centered person. But if you choose to be that kind forever, you can. But being selfish will isolate you from family, friends, and the people who love you. But if you are willing to change, it takes time, effort, and commitment to change the way you see and feel about yourself and the people around you.
Being selfish can cause so much unhappiness and blows in all aspects encompassing your life. Start taking the baby steps now to learn how to respect and love others.