From time to time, every relationship goes through rough patches. These rough patches should not come to define your relationship, and this requires efforts from both sides. As a girlfriend, there are a lot of things you can do from your side to improve the bond that exists between you and your boyfriend.
- Understand Him
Men may appear to be easy to understand but they really are not. Most girls make the mistake of thinking that understanding men doesn’t require much effort.
- Put in an effort and try to find out what is going on with him.
- Try to understand his problems and what he is dealing with.
- Try to understand why he behaves in certain waves.
- Make an attempt to decipher his habits.
- Be understanding of his needs in life.
- Get Him to Open Up
It is no secret that men don’t like to share things often. Girls in this case usually tend to just let them be on their own, but this is a big mistake.
- Get him to trust you and open up to you.
- Get him to tell you his problems.
- Get him to tell you his feelings.
- Give Him Space
Men usually internalize their struggles and hence they tend to withdraw from social settings from time to time. If your boyfriend isn’t talking to you much, then maybe he needs some space.
- Girls make the mistake of assuming that boys are angry when they don’t talk to them.
- Your boyfriend may be dealing with a host of problems and hence may require some personal space.
- Give him space to figure out how to deal with his problems.
- Allow him some breathing room so that he doesn’t feel pressurized around you to act like nothing’s happened.
- Try to take a step back and understand why he needs space.
- Don’t Bug Him Incessantly
Girls need to understand that boys don’t like to be in contact with them 24×7. They may be busy with something during the day.
- Don’t text or call him all the time.
- Respect the fact that he may be busy and may not want to talk or text.
- Don’t keep pestering him for attention.
- Try to make use of the time you are together rather than demanding more time together.
- Show Him Some Love
Boys may never admit it but they too love displays of affection. Show him that you love him and express it with all your heart.
- Go further than simply saying that you love him.
- Put an effort into making him feel special.
- Show him physical affection as well.
- Break the Monotony
After a while, relationships become platonic and hard to hold on to. To avoid this, you must keep the spark alive and keep him excited and hooked onto the relationship.
- Plan something different all of a sudden.
- Go and do something that you both have never done.
- Try out various new things and explore new locations.
- Take part in adventure sports and recreational activities.
- Surprise him with something that breaks his regular schedule.
- Let Him have Some Alone Time
Yes, you are in a relationship but that doesn’t mean that you both have to constantly be stuck to each other. Let him have some time to himself so that he can pay attention to himself.
- If you give him some alone time, he will be more energetic towards the relationship.
- The times that you spend together will become more endearing if you spend some time apart.
- Let Him Go Out with His Friends
A lot of times, girls force boys to abandon their friends and give them all their attention. This will not bode well. Even if in the short runs he does it willingly, he will come to regret it sooner or later.
- Let him hang out with his friends from time to time.
- Let him go out with them and hang out.
- Become friends with his friends.
- You too should spend some time with his friends.
- Don’t force him to give the time he gives to his friends to you.
- Let Him Enjoy His Recreational Activities
Your boyfriend may indulge in some recreational activities which you may frown upon. This could be anywhere from mending his bike to playing video games.
- His life belongs to him too so let him choose his recreational activities.
- Don’t dictate as to how he should spend his leisure time.
- Don’t nag him about them unnecessarily.
- Let him have some time to do what he loves doing.
- He will definitely appreciate you if you don’t keep complaining about his recreational activities.
- Don’t Force Him into Confrontations
Girls have this nasty habit of asking boys to drop everything and listen to whatever they have to say. This practice will only harm the relationship in the long run.
- Don’t try to force him to address some issues immediately as per your convenience.
- Understand that there is a lot going with him and he may not immediately be willing to address whatever is bothering you.
- Understand that his mental health may be affected by your repeated confrontations.
- Don’t make him uncomfortable.
- Don’t Pressurize Him
Your boyfriend may be reluctant to do something but will end up doing them anyway for you. That doesn’t mean you should pressurize him or force him into doing more and more things that he doesn’t want to.
- Appreciate the fact that he is doing something for you.
- Don’t make him do too much of the things he is reluctant to do.
- Don’t pressurize him into stepping out of his comfort zone repeatedly.
- Don’t Try to Fix Him
Many times girls believe that there is something wrong with boys and that they need to be fixed. This is an extremely detrimental approach which is sure to end in disaster.
- Don’t be under the impression that there is something wrong with your boyfriend.
- Don’t try to keep changing things about him apart from a few things that need to be changed.
- Don’t try to mold him into your ideal boyfriend.
- Don’t try to alter his beliefs and values.
- Let Him be Himself
A man’s personality defines him. Let him be who he is and who he has been till date. Don’t try to change it or alter it unnecessarily otherwise he may start to resent you.
- Understand that his personality is his identity.
- Let his persona be as it is.
- Don’t try to mold him into your image of the perfect boyfriend.
- Don’t try to change him into another version of yourself.
- Never try to alter a man’s fundamental beliefs or it may prove to be disastrous for the relationship.
- Be There for Him
At various points in the relationship, your boyfriend may need your help and support. Make sure you are there to support him when he is having a hard time.
- Your boyfriend may need your emotional and physical support at times.
- In times of uncertainty like shifting cities or jobs, give him your unwavering support.
- Voice your opinion on the matter in a respectable and understanding way.
- Stand by him like a pillar so that he comes to rely on your support.
- Share His Sorrows
The ups and downs of life have affected everyone on this planet. Everyone is there during the ups, but people abandon you during the down-low. Make sure you are there for him in his bad times.
- Share his sorrows so that he feels lighter.
- Show him that you will stand by him at his absolute worst.
- Try to make him feel better when he is feeling low.
- Show Gratitude
When your boyfriend does something for you or goes out of his way to make you feel special, make sure you express your feelings and gratitude.
- Acknowledge the effort that he puts in.
- Appreciate what he does for you.
- Try to express how you feel when he does something for you.
- Do reciprocate a nice gesture.
- Always try to express how thankful you are to have him in your life.
- Introduce Him to Your Friends
Boys love it when girls introduce them to their friend circle. Introducing your boyfriend to your friends make him feel like a bigger part of your life.
- Don’t cut him off from your friend circle.
- If you introduce your boyfriend to your friend, you both can spend time with them.
- Make him a greater part of your social life.
- You may want to introduce him to your office friends or acquaintances as well.
- Spend Time with His Friends
Spend time with his friends so that he doesn’t feel like you aren’t involved in his personal life. Hangout with his friends, that he doesn’t feel that they are being neglected.
- Your boyfriend may feel that he is being forced to neglect his friends because of the relationship.
- Spending time with his friends will allow him to hang out with them and spend time with you as well.
- He will feel that you are becoming a greater part of his life if you spend time with his friends and he will appreciate your effort.
- Don’t Fight with Him if He Makes Plans without Asking You
You both may be in a relationship but that doesn’t mean that he has to check with you every time before making plans. You may have to prioritize each other but that doesn’t mean you need each other’s consent to even step out of the house.
- Don’t create a scene of he makes plans with his friends in a time slot where you both didn’t have plans.
- Plans have been spontaneously so don’t be under the impression that you were purposely cut off from the discussion.
- If you both didn’t make any prior plans, then he is entitled to make his own plans.
- Don’t nag him if he wants to go and meet his friends once a while.
- Don’t Try to Control Him
Many nascent relationships have this problem that the girl keeps trying to control or tame the guy. This is detrimental to the long-term health of the relationship.
- Don’t force him to choose what you want over what he wants.
- Don’t force him to act and react the way you want him to.
- Don’t try to hijack his daily schedule.
- Don’t try to control his habits.
- Make sure you aren’t pressurizing him to change parts of himself he doesn’t want to.
- Accept your boyfriend for who he is and not who you expect him to be. Support him for the man he is and become his companion.
- Try to understand his unique features and appreciate the kind of person that he has become for you.
Try to appreciate him when he does something for you and try to appreciate the adjustments that he made in his life for you.
How do you fix a struggling relationship?
- Take full responsibility if you’re at fault.
- Give your partner the opportunity to win your trust back.
- Practice radical transparency.
- Seek professional help.
- Extend compassion and care to the person you hurt.