If you have decided that you want to get a divorce and end your marriage, you will need to go through a few steps. This is a very delicate subject that needs to be broached carefully. The more cautious you are about telling your spouse you want a divorce, the better your chances will be of getting it without a fight.
- Think About Why You Want a Divorce
First you should think about why you want to get a divorce. You might even want to write a list of the reasons on paper. This will help you to speak to your spouse with more confidence and conviction. If you can’t come up with many reasons, you may want to rethink the idea of getting a divorce. Either way, this is an important step to take in this process.
- Choose the right Time to Tell Them
Timing is definitely important when it comes to tell your spouse that you want a divorce. You should pick a time when they aren’t busy so you can sit down and talk together. Keep in mind that you are going to be giving them so pretty bad news. Make sure that you tell them at home, as it is an environment that they most likely feel comfortable in. This can help with keeping things civil.
- Remain Calm While Still Being Assertive
Make sure that you stay calm while telling your spouse you want a divorce so things don’t escalate. You will still need to make a point of being direct and assertive without backing down at all. Your spouse should understand that this is what you want and that there is no turning back. If you feel yourself getting frustrated, take a few deep breaths before continuing.
- Manage Your Expectations
There is a good chance that your spouse will become very emotional when they tell them you want a divorce. You shouldn’t expect them to be okay with it or not have a negative reaction at all. It is crucial that you try to respect how they feel while still getting your point across. The more realistic your expectations are, the smoother this situation will go.
- Suggest Working Together
If your spouse has accepted that you want a divorce and agrees, you should suggest working together so that everything gets sorted out as quickly as possible. You will definitely want to avoid dragging out your divorce it at all possible. If you work with your spouse on issues like custody and alimony, everything is going to go a lot better overall. If you have children, you should remind them that a team approach is better for them. When neither of you hire lawyers, you can also save quite a bit of money.
- Give Them Some Space
After you have told your spouse that you want a divorce, there is a good chance that they will need some space. One of you will probably end up moving out, though some divorcing couples do decide to live with each other until everything is finalized. Giving your spouse some space will help them through this process, which will also be good for you.
- Invite a Third Party if Necessary
If you are concerned that your spouse might become violent when you tell them you want a divorce, you should consider inviting someone to join you. This can make the conversation a bit awkward, but it’s better than putting your physical well-being at risk. When you do this you can be honest and straightforward with your spouse without any fear.
- Avoid Placing Blame
You should avoid playing the blame game when sitting your spouse down to have the kind of conversation. While they might have done certain things to cause you to ask for a divorce, you should be respectful and kind. This will help you increase your chances of getting the cleanest divorce possible. If they make it clear that they will make things difficult, you can file for an at-fault divorce. This is when a person gets a divorce because their spouse has cheated or there has been some form of abuse.