Relationships can be tough. Sometimes it does not work out. How do you break up with someone you love without hurting them? As an old song goes, breaking up can be hard to do. There are signs that can help you decide when it is time to leave the relationship. If you are bored or you are not getting along, arguing and not enjoying each other’s company, it is time to consider leaving. Your happiness is imperative.

If you are not feeling loved and supported, it may be time to move on. Sometimes it is just a matter of change. If you and your partner are not wanting the same things in life anymore, there is no reason to stay. Perhaps, you want a career that will require a lot of travel, but your partner is a homebody. In the end, this likely will not work for either of you.

Whether you live together, or it is a long-distance relationship, here are six ways to break up with someone you love.

  1. Be gentle

When you have decided it is time to move on, you must consider breaking up gently. If you care about someone, you certainly do not want to hurt them. The easy way out would be breaking up by text, but it is certainly not considerate. First and foremost, do it in person if at all possible. If the relationship is long-distance, use Skype or a similar method where you will see each other face-to-face.

  1. Be honest

If you care about someone, you owe them the truth. Tell your partner what has changed and why you feel the way you do. Do not lie just to make them or you feel better. Breaking up with someone hurts. If you are not in love anymore, tell them. Explain you care about them, but it is not fair to remain in the relationship if you are not in love.

  1. Be kind

Choose your words carefully. Reiterate it is your decision, and provide the reasons why you are not a good fit for them anymore. Be sure you speak to your partner in a caring and pleasant tone. Do not shout or use foul language even if you are frustrated. You need to do this nicely.

  1. Choose the right time

If you or your partner are having a bad day, hold off for a day or two. Likewise, do not choose a day that is special for you or your partner. For example, if your partner comes home and announces a big promotion at work, it is not the day to have a conversation about breaking up. It is also not good to do it in the middle of an argument. Let your partner know you want to talk and invite them to dinner.

  1. Do not be vague

Along with being honest, you must be clear. Do not say you are breaking up because you are never at home. You need to tell them exactly what upsets you and why. For example, you could say, ‘I am working a lot and it requires me to travel. You deserve to be with someone who can go out and do things with you on a regular basis.’ If you are not clear, they may not realize this is the end of the relationship. Your partner needs to know this is a permanent situation.

  1. Let them talk too

Let your partner do some of the talking. What is their mindset?  Let them tell you their concerns as well. It is important to get their point of view. If they feel there are no issues, let them explain why they do not have the same perspective as you do. From there, you can explain your point of view gently.

Sometimes the break up is due to a more extreme situation, such as abuse or finding someone else. Here are additional tips on how to handle these particular situations.

  1. Breaking up with someone when you found someone else

You will need to continue to be honest. Tell your partner you found someone else. Explain why you feel you are more compatible with the new person. You might say, “I love you, but “new person” loves to travel like I do, and you prefer to stay home. In the end, we do not want the same things.” Explain you want them to find someone they will be happy with and who wants the same things as they do.

  1. Breaking up with someone who is abusive

This is difficult. You do not want to lie or do it via text or phone.

  • It is still important to break up in person.
  • Remain kind, but be firm. Let them know you no longer feel safe in their presence.
  • Explain yourself, but do not let them talk you out of it with an apology.
  • State your feelings and leave as soon as possible. You may want to have another person with you for safety reasons, but have them wait in another room if you can do so.

If you and your partner have a good and mature talk about why it is not working out, it is healthy and you are more likely to remain amicable. By considering their feelings, you are more likely to break up with someone you love without hurting them. It is important to know how to handle the break up properly so you can both move on without hurt feelings and regrets.

Moving on from someone you live with can be an intimidating thought, but your future self will thank you for not settling for a mediocre relationship. You deserve the best, and so does your partner. Remember, your future love is out there waiting for you to find them!

There are plenty of reasons why you may feel that you want to break up with your current significant other. It could be due to:

  • feelings of doubt
  • betrayal
  • or even a lack of attractiveness.

Sometimes there is no easy way to tell someone, “it is over”, but to just let it happen and move forward. So, here are 6 steps to break up with a person.

  • Reflect on why you want to break up

Before you consider breaking up with someone, take a moment to think about why you feel that you want to break up with your significant other. In some cases, you may feel as if your significant other is unattractive. For others, it may have been a case of betrayal, infidelity, and deceit. Whatever the case may be, reflect on your own motivations behind the break-up before you decide that it is the decision you want to make.

TIP: Take as much time as you need to fully reflect on the reasons you want to break up with this person.
CAUTION: Breaking up with someone can cause an immense amount of stress on him or her and/or yourself or any other third party that may be involved.

  • Set a meeting with the person you are planning to break up with

Now that you have decided to break up with this person, start the “break-up” discussion with him or her. In order to start the “break up” discussion, try reaching out to him or her by a phone call or text message. You can start off by saying, that you have been contemplating breaking up with him or her, and would like to discuss the details of the reasons why. It is much more fulfilling to both parties if you set a meeting face-to-face. However, if it is too difficult to do so, designate a time slot to discuss with your significant other to start the “break up discussion”.

  • Discuss with the person the reasons you want to break up
  • Take time to explain why you feel that breaking up with your significant other is the right decision for both of you.
  • The “break up” discussion is meant to explain why you feel that you want to break up with him or her.
  • You can also discuss issues or experiences that occurred that may have lead you to think of breaking up with him or her.
  • If the discussion begins to get emotionally or physically harming either party, take a step back and stop the discussion before continuing the conversation; you may continue to have the conversation at some other time.
    TIP: Explain that you have taken some time to really contemplate or make this decision, that way he or she does not feel as if it was made upon impulse or other external motives.
  • Resolve the breakup

After the “break up” discussion, there will be issues that need to be resolved. This can be that you have items left at his or her home or vice versa or that you will need to discuss details about how to deal with any other third-party that may be involved. If you are married, this step includes that you resolve any legal issues and family issues that will follow the breakup. If you are breaking up with a friend, this step includes developing an idea for how you may hang out with mutual friends or family.

  • Follow-Through with the break-up

After the break-up, there will be moments where you may contemplate wanting to get back together with your significant other. However, if you felt that you had to break up with him or her before, you may feel that you will want to break up with him or her again in the future. During this step, you will feel very emotional.

  • It’s recommended that you do some positive activities with a strong support group that includes some of your friends and family.
  • Do not talk or reach out to your ex after the “break-up” discussion.
  • You should only respond to resolve any unfinished business you may have with them; however, you should still limit as much contact as possible.
  • After the breakup
  • As time passes after the breakup, you will slowly adjust to a different lifestyle.
  • You will also be able to enjoy the single life and will have more time to grow and change who you are as an individual.
  • It is not recommended that you start another relationship after the break up due to any subsiding emotions that may still linger after the breakup.
  • Try to do activities that make you feel good about yourself to move forward from the breakup.
  • When enough time has passed, the right person will come into your life.

TIP: If you have suicidal thoughts contact the “Suicide Hotline” and contact your physician. 1(800)273-8255.

How do you break up with someone without hurting them?

Be direct. You can be gentle while being clear and direct about what you want. “Kindness and empathy really go a long way in a difficult situation like this,” says Hertzberg. “Just validating the other person’s feelings around the breakup can be healing.

Is it okay to break up over text?

If the thought of breaking up with someone in person is stressing you out to the point where it’s all feeling like a bit too much, then breaking up via text is perfectly reasonable. This gives you time to collect your thoughts and plan what to say. If you’re considering ghosting.

How do you know if it’s time to break up?

“It might be time to break up when those things are no longer true or if you are no longer able to communicate and hear each other.” “When you spend more time asking for what you need instead of getting it and you see no changes, it’s time to go,” she continues.

What is a toxic relationship?

Toxic relationships are characterized by a lack of trust, controlling behaviors, and frequent lying. Often one partner is prioritized instead of coming together as a team. While toxic relationships can, at times, be healed, both partners must be willing to adapt and work on the relationship.

Can someone leave you if they love you?

If someone loves you, they don’t leave. Despite the reasons some people have when they decide to leave a relationship, the truth of the matter is that they just didn’t love you enough. They may have feelings for you but their love wasn’t strong enough to make them want to stay.

Why do guys let go of the girl they love?

The Top Reasons Why Men Leave The Women They Love

The relationship feels like an emotional burden to him. The relationship is overwhelmingly negative. The long term relationship goals are incompatible. He feels like he can‘t be himself.

Who ever loves you will never leave you?

Even if there are hundred reasons to give up, they will find one reason to hold on. ~ Unknown.

Does true love walk away?

They cannot be fully open, present and vulnerable in a true love relationship, and they can’t let go either. No one can let go. Or walk away for good. One or both of us have an allergic reaction, so we must stay away from what feels good, happy, and kind, because some day, this love will eat you alive.

Will walking away make him realize?

Therefore, if you decide to walk away, he will realize that he was taking you for granted when he had you by his side. He will also start to miss you and will want you back more than ever before. He will then come running after you, with more love and appreciation than ever before.

How do you know when a guy is giving up on you?

You feel like he doesn’t need you. You feel like you‘re replaceable and that he will leave you in any given moment. You feel like he’s going to hurt you, that he’s going to abandon you, that he’s going to break your heart. You feel insecure and you begin to doubt your connection and the love you share.

Why do guys stop chasing you?

Men stop chasing someone when they find out that someone else is into them. When a man chases you, it is because he wants to prove his worth to you. He likes the chase but when he doesn’t get the response he was hoping for, he feels dejected. This might make him want to move on.

Do men like to be chased?

Truth be told, most guys enjoy chasing and they are the ones who want to chase and not to be chased. If you just want him to be yours use Infatuation Scripts. Make sure you really like him though because after following this course you won’t be able to get rid of him.

Will he chase me if I stop chasing him?

And the right one will definitely chase you. If you start chasing a guy, it’ll almost always have the opposite effect on him. You might come across as needy or desperate, which is a huge turn-off for guys. But if you stop chasing him, he‘ll definitely notice and quickly start to chase you.