The relationship is hard to create these days and then when you get somebody suitable for a relationship you cross all the boundaries to make him happy and maintain the relationship but in the middle of everything suddenly one day you come across a situation called cheating. The most painful thing in any relationship is cheating especially if it is between trusted couples.
- When You have Enough Evidence
You should always have enough evidence to prove your point that your partner is cheating on you. And the only way to prove it is by showing the evidence.
- The evidence can be some gift or some other things which you might have come across accidentally in your house.
- It can also be a conversation between your partner and the third person. You need a recording of it.
- Proof can also be a person who is ready to speak on your behalf about seeing your partner with the third person in a compromising way.
- Plan before Any Kind of Confrontation
To have a proper kind of approach and a proper confrontation you need to plan things like not to go yelling at him all the way which is totally impractical in real life.
- Talk to your partner at the time when he is totally free like he is not into something urgent or can make the excuse of that urgency.
- You can also choose a weekend to talk to your partner without any disturbance.
- Ask your partner not to get distracted by any kind of mobile phone call or other reasons.
- You May Like to Choose a Place
It may be a good option to take your partner to some better place before revealing your plan of talking to him about cheating.
- The advantage of taking to some separate place is you can talk to him face to face without distraction.
- Another advantage of choosing a pleasant place is it will help you stay focused on what you want to say without getting angry.
- Whatever conclusion you draw out of your talk you both will have a good memory of separating peacefully.
- Present it Properly
If you are going to blame him or accuse him of cheating you need to present your allegations properly. So as not miss out any point.
- Proper presentation of your allegations will lead you to reach your goal of proving him a cheater.
- Your partner initially will not accept the blames and would like to escape your presentation of evidence will avoid it happening.
- Start talking to your partner with some easy regular day to day life conversation leading to a serious one.
- Think about the Outcome of What do You Want
You should choke out some definite plans before getting into the conversation. You never know what the other person wants or how the other person will react.
- But you can certainly expect to gain the things that you had planned to get from the confrontation.
- You will get a clear idea about where exactly do you want your relationship to go from here.
- Do you want your relationship to end forever with your partner?
- Do you want to come to a compromise where you can still continue to remain in relationship with your partner?
- Clear Your Doubts with Your Partner First
Along with blaming your partner you might also like to know the reason why he reacted or cheated with you at the first place were there anything missing in between you two people.
- You would definitely like to know the reason for the infertility of your partner.
- There might be certain reasons which might have triggered your partner to cheat on you.
- If this is the second or third time your partner has cheated on you, you can I recall the earlier incidences and the promises that he did.
- You May Write Down Your Thoughts on Paper
During the conversation, it may happen that your partner takes you into some different direction where you do not want to go and talk on certain points only.
- Writing down points on paper will keep you on track of what exactly do you want to ask him.
- It will also remind you about what to ask after what point by point.
- Also writing down your thoughts on paper will help you to avoid the thoughts that are coming on the spot to distract you.
- Although this looks childish but writing down your thoughts on paper will definitely help you.
- Disconnect the Reasons for Distraction
In the middle of the important discussion with your partner if you have reached at a point where you are about to prove him wrong and at that time any distraction will be bad.
- You may like to disconnect the wires of your television to not to get distracted during the conversation.
- You may also like to ask your partner to switch off the mobiles before starting the conversation.
- Also, you would like to avoid answering the doorbell if somebody comes up in the middle of your conversation.
- Do Not Expect Much, Ask Your Partner
Coming to a conclusion in a conversation or making a Final Decision will be an emotionally draining experience avoids yourself from this situation.
- Do not put allegations straightaway on your partner ask him in question tone To Let him think and answer.
- If he answers your questions that means he himself is accepting his blame.
- You can save yourself morally by not blaming somebody directly but forcing your partner to come to a situation where he accepts his crime.
- Keep Your Head Cool
In order to convey your thoughts and think properly one after the other steps, it is very important for you to keep your head cool to not get distracted.
- It is very important to handle this kind of situation in a really productive fashion.
- If you lose your Temper there is 100% chance of losing your battle.
- Take a deep breath to relax before getting into the conversation.
- If even by chance if you get angry to try to calm down and approach your partner patiently again.
- Emotions don’t Make You a Loser
It’s perfectly alright to have emotions for your partner even when you are talking to him on a very delicate matter which might lead to a separation or a compromise.
- If you are an emotional person try to vent out your emotions before the conversation.
- And during the conversation, if you get emotional again do not repent for it takes a break.
- You may like to express your emotions after the conversation has finished.
- Take a few Deep breaths to calm down your emotions and again come back to the conversation with a cool head.
- Be Constructive in Your Approach
Instead of saying you totally ruined me and my life you can say if you had some feelings for the other person you could have just talk to me about it.
- This will make you more constructive by showing that you can handle this situation in a rather constructive way.
- You may also like to add the word ‘we’ before starting a sentence instead of ‘I’.
- This type of conversation will also avoid you from being seen as a person with all personal judgments.
- Moving Ahead with a Decision
Well, infertility is not the end of the relationship there is a certain relationship which still continues after such situations. You should come to a conclusion after a discussion to move ahead.
- Moving ahead is the only thing that is possible whether you move ahead with your partner or without your partner.
- There can be underlying many reasons for you to decide to give another chance to your partner.
- Do not think about what society thinks about infidelity make up your own mind while taking the decision.
- Also, do not make a decision in hurry think about it for a few days the pros and the cons of it.
- If You Decide to Stay Together
It may happen that you may be able to explain to yourself the reasons why your partner got into infidelity. You both might have come to some conclusion to move ahead together.
- Forgiving somebody and accepting him again is the biggest decision that you will make, leaving the feelings of blame and anger behind you.
- It is perfectly alright for you to think that you will take time to build trust, the trust that you have lost in your partner.
- You may like to avoid the talks about what just happened and would like to live a normal life thinking it never happened.
- Taking Medical Help
If you were sexually active with your partner and in the middle of that if he had sex with the other partner there might be a chance of having sexually transmitted diseases.
- If you decide to stay with your partner then ask him to accompany you to get an STD test done.
- The chances are you might also get sexually transmitted diseases if your partner is infected.
- You should immediately fix an appointment with your doctor and visit the clinic to run a full panel STD test.
- Do Not Hesitate to Ask for Help
Other than your partner there are many people in your life who are emotionally connected to you, these people are your well wishes you can approach them without hesitation.
- You totally deserve the love and care and also the support of your near and dear ones after this betrayal.
- Taking help and emotional support from your known people will establish your trust in a relationship again.
- It is alright to express your feelings and getting emotional in front of your loved ones.
- This time will tell you how much your loved ones actually care for you when you feel free to cry in front of them.
- Do Not Spread in Feelings for Your Partner
Never say he was a bad cruel man when you can say that you got hurt by his actions. This is a crucial time for you to deal with your emotions and feelings about the person who has cheated.
- But do not lose your temper or mental balance and do not indulge in negative publicity of your partner.
- People around you are smart enough to know you and your partner both so being negative about partner won’t work.
- Also, do not try to share those secrets of your partner that you have kept always with you to harm him.
- Consider a Healthy Therapy
A professional counselor will be considered as an ideal person and the most qualified human who can support you and also Council your partner at this particular time.
- You need to search online and also take the help of other people to find the right counselor in your area.
- You can also take help of your doctor for suggesting a better Counselor who had a good record of counseling the couples.
- Sometimes the couple does not come to a conclusion by discussing it between themselves they need some professional help.
- Try to Live in the Present
Once you and your partner decide to continue the relationship after the cheating incident, but again and again you will try to remember the past and it will disturb your present time.
- Don’t spoil your present because of the things that have happened in the past by remembering it again and again.
- Try to forget those things even if you remember them every day and work for tomorrow.
- Your past has nothing to give you but your presence has a lovely future to give you.
- Cut Off All the Communications for Time Being
The foremost and the most important thing that you would like to do are to ask your cheating partner to cut off all the communication with the third person.
- If the third person is working in the same office as your partner ask your partner to change the office.
- You may also ask your partner to change the city together to avoid further contacts with the third person.
- And if the partner is unwilling to support in this you should take it a sign that he is willing to stay in touch with the third person.
- Set the Boundaries and Follow Them
Setback of cheating both the partners can agree to live together on certain rules and regulations. And no matter what both the partners will follow these do’s and don’ts all time.
- Let’s say you can ask your partner to not bring any office colleague especially a female in your house.
- Also, your partner will avoid meeting his female friends on weekends the whole day without informing you.
- A healthy flirt or a decent flirt may also lead to relationships, later on; make a rule to totally stop this.
- Knowing the Whereabouts of Your Partner
This may look a bit odd but in order to gain your trust after infertility, your partner should inform you about his whereabouts all the time in the entire day.
- Make sure you are not becoming a very demanding partner and control freak in this whole process.
- You can call your partner sometimes or text him to know about it but do not Nag him continuously for the same reason.
- Becoming suspicious is obvious but don’t make it a habit to ruin a good time between you two people.
- Forgive Them but Forgive Them on Your Own Terms
Is perfectly alright to ask your partner to give you more time to trust him and also forgive and forget what he has done to you.
- Forgiveness and forgetness is something that doesn’t happen overnight everybody needs time for it.
- Inform your partner clearly that he needs to on your trust, and which will take time and practical efforts.
- By becoming strict to your partner or stating your own terms doesn’t make you a bad person relax.
- Do Not Try to Include Sex and Romance to Fix the Problem
Your partner can’t just use romance or sex for that matter to heal the pain that you are going through it feels good just for the moment.
- Do not let your partner use romance to come close to you also don’t bluntly refuse him.
- Ask your partner to wait for some time till you get healed properly and start trusting him again like before.
- Also, tell your partner that he will have to on your love again and help you to regain a feeling to love you back.
- Know When to Stop Them
Your partner can try to manipulate you into forgiving them and thinking that it was your fault. With all the emotions you have carried for him/her, it is easy for them to work through it.
- Make sure you are level headed and not forget the fact that no matter what it was him who went behind your back.
- The moment you start feeling them aggressively reassuring you for their deeds, stop them and give them a mirror to their character.
- Remember that besides the problems, you never went out and cheated on them, you kept your part and was loyal throughout.
- Try the Jedi Mind Trick
Sometimes it can be really hard for you to make your partner confess to their deeds and in those minds this Jedi trick will work wonders for you. The trick is too struck right where it hurts about your relationship.
- If you see him not confessing, try to take a unit of that blame on yourself. Do not do this purposefully but just as a small act to turn them into feeling guilty.
- Say it was your fault that you were incapable of fulfilling their sexual desires or emotional ones.
- This will take pressure off of him and get him overwhelmed, making it easier for him or her to confess.
- Make Sure What You Want
Yes, cheating is the worst thing your partner could do to you, but every human deal with it in various different ways. Some people get closed off and never want to see the cheater again, whereas some want to give another chance to their relationship.
- Sit back relax and think whether do you want to be with them or you want to get away from them.
- If you want to still be with them, listen to them and assure yourselves from them that this won’t happen again and both will work on amending the loose clips of your relationship.
- And if you want to let go, then just do it without any second thoughts in your mind.
- Figure Out What and What Not
Figure out what you want to know and what you don’t want to know. This is a very crucial step because its already difficult to find out that your partner is cheating, but listening to the whole story is even more gut wrenching.
- Decide whether you want to hear to the whole part or just some things you want to find out.
- Why, how and whom are the three important answers you must choose to listen to or not listen to.
- The time spans for the cheating matters here too, decide whether you really want to know for how long it has been going on or not.
- After Conversation Plans
It is important to figure out what will you do afterwards. Yes, there are decisions you finalize about whether you want to spare them or you don’t want to. But what afterwards the whole conversation is also important.
- Figure out whether you want to continue having the conversation or you want to end it where it all gets over.
- Set a place and time for another follow up conversation of you want that to happen and decide by yourself.
- Or you might want to put up any further conversation on hold so that you can focus on your emotions and figure out what exactly is you desire.
- Do Not Justify Your Snooping
This might sound unnecessary but it is important for you to not let the cheater bring it all up to the cheatee and start blaming you for keeping an eye out for them or to snooping them. They might try to get rid of their accusations by accusing you.
- Don’t feel responsible to explain your snooping to the one who has cheated on you by turning the tables on you.
- Spying isn’t right, but where you find out about them actually cheating on you, it all is justified and a moot point.
- Realize that if they weren’t going to tell you, and keep lying instead then you couldn’t have stayed in a betrayed relationship.
- Anyone of the partners before addressing the issue should make sure to have enough solid proof of allegations.
- After cheating if you decide to stay together does not trust him immediately let him on your trust and love at your terms.
Relationships are based on fragile feelings and emotions it’s perfectly alright if you cry during this time after your partner is cheated.